I’m fortunate to have two wonderful daughters, my newest arrival just a little over a month old. They fill my life with joy and love, and I wouldn’t trade them for anything. However, it’s 2 a.m., and I’ve been awake for two hours trying to soothe my baby back to sleep. This is the reality of my new routine. In the stillness of the night, while the world sleeps, I grapple with the challenges of motherhood—challenges that often go unnoticed behind the curated images on my social media.
Parenting can appear deceptively simple, yet the truth is that navigating life with a newborn and a toddler is anything but easy, especially with two self-employed parents. I frequently remind myself that perfection is an illusion, no matter how it may seem from the outside.
So, let me share a few truths with you:
When you see me at an event with my hair done and makeup on…
That pristine look often comes at a cost. My newborn woke up mid-shower and cried until I was finished, making it the least enjoyable shower ever. I hurried through my makeup application in a frantic attempt to mask how exhausted I really am, and yes, I shed a few tears too.
When you ask how I’m managing to work with a newborn and toddler at home…
Honestly, there are days I wish I could just hit pause on everything else. The pressure is immense, and I sometimes feel guilty for not being the superwoman who juggles it all with ease.
When you inquire if my newborn is a ‘good baby’…
I often want to respond with a resounding “no.” In my sleep-deprived mind, I misinterpret her cries as a sign of being “bad.” It’s easy to forget that her needs are natural and not a reflection of her character.
When you ask if my two-year-old enjoys her new sister…
Yes, she loves her sister, but right now, it’s me she’s less fond of. While I recover from a C-section, her father has taken on most of the childcare duties, including school runs and parties—tasks that I used to handle. I can’t help but wonder if she’ll miss the old routine when I’m back in action.
When you inquire how I manage to do it all…
The truth is, I don’t. My house is a chaotic mess. I haven’t entered a grocery store in over a month (thank you, delivery services). I’ve missed meetings and photoshoots, and my inbox is overflowing. My hair? It’s a disaster, even dry shampoo can’t save it.
When you ask about breastfeeding and I say, ‘It’s going well!’…
What I really want to express is how transformative exclusively breastfeeding can be. With my first child, I couldn’t do it, and while I’m grateful it’s working out this time, the reality is that it limits my freedom. I’m tethered to my baby for feedings every two to three hours, leaving me utterly exhausted. There are times I just want to throw in the towel and wish for a simpler solution.
These are the realities I live with. Would I change any of it? Absolutely not. Life is meant to be messy, chaotic, and beautiful, and if we were to eliminate all the challenges, what would be left? Just an unrealistic notion of perfection. In the light of day, I remember that perfection isn’t what I strive for.
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Summary
In the whirlwind of caring for a newborn and a toddler, the author shares an honest glimpse into the struggles and realities of motherhood. From the challenges of working amidst chaos to the emotional complexities of nurturing both children, the piece underscores that perfection is not the goal—embracing the beautiful messiness of life is what truly matters.