Feb. 12, 2018
Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD)—the moment I encountered this term in relation to my son, a whirlwind of emotions engulfed me. It was challenging to process the implications of this diagnosis, especially as it disrupted the well-structured life I had envisioned for my family. My aspirations included raising children who would excel academically and thrive in extra-curricular activities, all while being well-behaved, healthy, emotionally stable, and spiritually grounded—essentially, the perfect children nurtured by seemingly perfect parents.
Let’s take a moment to chuckle at my naive expectations. Life has a way of yanking away our illusions of control, thrusting us into unexpected realities. So, what does this new chapter entail for our family?
In many ways, this “new normal” was merely an acknowledgment of truths I had sensed from the very beginning. Even while cradling my newborn for the first time, I recognized that he was unique—not in the typical sense of every child being different, but in a way that defied conventional expectations. For instance, while other babies followed typical patterns of sleep and feeding, my son rarely napped, opting instead for brief 15-20 minute stretches of sleep, often accompanied by his expressive cries. He epitomized the definition of a colicky infant, clearly overwhelmed by the world around him.
As he matured, his distinct traits became increasingly apparent. Unlike most infants, he exhibited no interest in putting objects in his mouth; instead, he would meticulously examine new items, turning them over in his hands as if studying them. His exceptional memory also emerged early. By 20 months, he had memorized the entire map of the United States thanks to an interactive toy. His relentless pressing of buttons led to him accurately identifying each state, showcasing his extraordinary concentration and recall.
As time passed, I began to notice a range of behaviors manifesting, including meltdowns, obsessive tendencies, and bouts of anger—pieces of a complex puzzle that took years to assemble. But step by step, the pieces began to fit together.
This new normal is ultimately liberating. My son will now access the resources he needs to flourish at school, at home, and in life. He will engage with counselors specializing in ASD and anxiety, learning vital social skills and coping techniques for moments of overwhelm. His educational environment will be tailored to his individual needs, offering him the freedom to learn and thrive.
While many aspects of our lives will transform, some will remain unchanged. My curious child will continue to be fascinated by dinosaurs, maps, and numbers, even if his peers gravitate towards movies and sports. He will still require reassurance and encouragement, just as I do at times, that being different is perfectly okay. Our family will continue to provide him with love and guidance, adapting our methods to better suit his unique needs. The greatest shift we are embracing wholeheartedly is the invaluable knowledge that will help us support our exceptional child.
Knowledge truly is empowering. I have always understood this concept, but there is a significant difference between knowing and believing. Initially, I feared that labeling my child would bring about stigma. To be frank, my hesitation stemmed from a self-centered concern about how others might perceive him—anxiety resembling that of a middle schooler worrying about peers’ opinions. I dreaded the thought of others witnessing his struggles, particularly during moments of distress when he felt overwhelmed by situations he couldn’t control.
I was reluctant to accept that my child would be different. Different is intimidating. Different presents challenges. Yet, I failed to recognize that being different can also be remarkable. Just look at historical figures like Albert Einstein, Thomas Jefferson, and Sir Isaac Newton, who also fell on the autism spectrum. It’s a revelation that reshapes perspectives.
When provided with the right resources and strategies, a profound sense of tranquility washes over me. My child may learn differently, but that does not inhibit his ability to thrive. He may take longer to forge meaningful friendships, but those connections will be just as significant. He may face challenges, but he will navigate them in his own unique way.
If I could impart one piece of wisdom to parents of children who seem “different,” it would be this: do not fear a diagnosis. Instead, fear the lack of understanding that may hinder your child from realizing their full potential. Ultimately, being different can be a source of strength, and embracing a new normal is just another facet of life. For those interested in further exploration of parenthood, be sure to check out this post on home insemination kits. Additionally, March of Dimes offers excellent resources for pregnancy and home insemination, while Involved Mom is an authority on these topics.
Summary:
The author reflects on the emotional journey following her child’s autism diagnosis, revealing that it was a confirmation of the unique traits she had observed since infancy. While the diagnosis alters their family dynamics, it ultimately provides the opportunity for her son to receive the necessary support to thrive. Embracing this new normal allows for a better understanding of her child’s distinct learning and socialization styles. The author encourages other parents to view differences as strengths and to seek knowledge that empowers their children to flourish.