A little over five years ago, my teenage daughter walked into my room and simply said, “Mom, can we talk?” She had been quietly grappling with depression for some time, and finally found the courage to share her struggle. Since that pivotal night, our family has undergone a remarkable transformation—it’s incredible what can happen when support, bravery, and communication are embraced.
In the years that followed, we became active advocates for mental health, striving to break the stigma associated with depression, anxiety, and various mental health challenges. Our mission is to remind others that they are not alone and to encourage conversations, ensuring that no one has to suffer in silence.
When I share our story publicly, people often ask, “What helped improve the situation—what transpired after your daughter opened up?” While I’m not a therapist, I’m a parent who has navigated this journey with my child, and I’d like to share the ten strategies that aided our family, hoping they may benefit yours.
1. Therapy
For my daughter, my spouse, and me, therapy proved to be invaluable. While it can be costly and finding the right therapist may take time, this was the best decision we made. Just as you would seek medical care for a physical ailment, prioritizing mental health is equally crucial. It may require some effort to find a suitable professional, but this step is essential. We all need a safe space to express our feelings without fear of judgment—seeking help is a demonstration of strength. Your pediatrician might be able to recommend someone experienced with children and adolescents.
During a presentation, a parent shared her practice of taking her kids for an annual “mental health checkup” with a therapist, akin to their yearly physicals. I absolutely love this approach! If I had younger children, I would definitely incorporate it. It normalizes discussions around mental health and ensures that kids have a trusted person to turn to when needed.
2. Medication
Only a qualified physician can assess whether medication is appropriate, but it’s worth considering as a potential path. We approached this with the understanding that it might involve trial and error, requiring patience and honesty regarding its effectiveness. You wouldn’t hesitate to follow a doctor’s recommendation for medication concerning a physical condition, so why should mental health be any different? Medication can sometimes provide the stability needed to explore coping strategies and slowly work through depression.
3. Communication
If only we could read our loved ones’ minds to alleviate their pain! Opening the dialogue was merely the beginning; we had to learn how to support and communicate with her effectively. We all needed to find the right words, as we hadn’t previously needed them. My daughter felt conflicted because, in her mind, she “should be happy” given her bright future and supportive family. Once we began talking openly, she could articulate her feelings, leading to candid discussions about her depression.
4. Relatable Memes
We wanted to check in on her well-being without bombarding her with repetitive questions like, “How are you today?” To navigate this, I searched for memes about depression online. One read, “If you could read my mind, you’d be in tears.” Another said, “Saying ‘I’m tired’ when you’re actually sad.” I would print out these images and leave them in her room, gently asking, “Does this resonate with you?” This approach sparked conversations, and sometimes I would leave uplifting messages hoping to connect with her in a meaningful way.
5. Sharing Inspiration
To maintain our connection while navigating this journey, we exchanged inspiring content we discovered. For instance, we watched Shane Koyczan’s “Instructions for a Bad Day” video together shortly after she reached out for help. We found his work thought-provoking and uplifting. We frequently shared articles or videos with each other, which helped deepen our bond.
6. Music
I made an effort to listen to the music she enjoyed—Linkin Park was a favorite at the time. Their lyrics often mirrored her feelings. Engaging with her music provided me with insight into her thoughts and emotions. One song, “I Can See Clearly Now The Rain is Gone,” became a favorite during better days.
7. Meditation and Calm Practices
I discovered the app Insight Timer, which helped me find tranquility and escape to a peaceful mental space. My daughter also found meditation and mindfulness beneficial; it calmed her racing thoughts. Even a few minutes of quiet can yield remarkable healing benefits. Guided meditations worked wonders for me, while others may find walking in nature or other activities to be soothing—explore what resonates with you.
We also explored acupuncture, therapeutic massage, journaling, and even cooking together as ways to foster connection and healing.
8. Online Communities
We found solace in various online communities, with The Mighty being one of them. NAMI (National Alliance on Mental Illness) was another organization that fostered a sense of belonging during challenging times. Explore these resources to find a community that resonates with you.
9. Self-Forgiveness
As parents, it’s common to seek someone to hold accountable, often turning that blame inward. I struggled with feelings of guilt for not recognizing her struggles sooner. I questioned whether genetics played a role in her depression. This guilt was painful and unproductive. I had to remind myself that dwelling on blame wasn’t helping anyone, especially me.
10. Embracing Uncertainty
I’m someone who prefers knowing there’s a happy ending, but this journey didn’t allow for that. I had to learn to coexist with uncertainty, though I can’t say I became entirely comfortable with it. Recognizing my daughter’s gradual progress was essential; soon she began expressing sentiments like “I feel again” and “It doesn’t seem so dark anymore.” Her demeanor shifted as she prepared for college, and seeing her share her story publicly was a significant turning point for both of us.
I hope our experiences resonate with your family. Remember, you are not alone. There is hope, love, and support available; all it takes is that first step to seek help. If you find yourself in a position to support someone, listen with intention and let them know you are there for them unconditionally.
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Summary
This article shares the journey of a family navigating depression after a pivotal conversation between a mother and her daughter. It outlines ten key strategies that aided their healing process, including therapy, medication, effective communication, and sharing inspirational content. The family emphasizes the importance of seeking help, fostering open discussions, and finding creative ways to connect. Ultimately, the piece offers hope and encouragement to others facing similar challenges, reinforcing the message that no one is alone in their struggles.