Dear Partner,
I want you to know how much I love you; it’s immeasurable. However, I need to be honest — I am exhausted. I’m so worn out that even the thought of how tired I am feels like too much. It’s a deep fatigue that leaves me feeling drained and overwhelmed.
You might look at me as if I’ve landed from another planet. But let me clarify: I’m a working mom, and it’s a unique experience filled with its own challenges. I often grapple with the guilt of not being home with our children like the “ideal” mothers are.
I respect the hard work that stay-at-home moms do — it’s incredibly demanding. However, I feel more myself when I’m at my job, even if it’s just a break from the chaos of home. My paycheck is essential for our family, but my career brings me a sense of fulfillment. I want our kids to understand the value of hard work; I tell myself it will make them stronger. Yet, the guilt of not being there for them is a constant weight on my shoulders.
Please know that I don’t see you as a bad husband or father. In fact, you are one of the best partners I could ask for. You can’t take away my exhaustion, but you can definitely help lighten my load in practical ways.
When I come home juggling work papers, school bags, kids’ art, or groceries, a helping hand from you would mean the world. And let’s be honest, if you could keep track of your own keys and wallet, it would really ease my burden.
Another truth: I feel lonely. Many of my friends are caught up in the same relentless grind, so we rarely find time to connect. Gone are the days of fun outings and casual catch-ups. When we do manage to gather for a much-needed break, it feels like a moment of normalcy.
Loneliness is a tough battle for me. I need community and friendship, so please support my efforts to maintain those connections. Encourage me to go out and enjoy some freedom. However, that means you need to step up while I’m away. I know you’d like a detailed to-do list, but honestly, I’m too exhausted for that. I’ll do my best to create one anyway.
It would be fantastic if you could handle dinner, bathe the kids, check homework, and prepare their outfits for school based on their activities. Please avoid sending our daughter to school in a skirt on P.E. day! Feed them, read with them, and ensure they get a good night’s sleep. Without it, we all suffer the next day.
And after all that, if you could clean the kitchen, take care of the pets, and pack school lunches, I’d be incredibly grateful. Don’t forget to switch the laundry, especially if it’s smelling funky.
I recognize I have control issues and I’m working through them. I promise to return from an evening out without critiquing your efforts. Even if dinner was a random mix of mac and cheese, baked potatoes, and leftover spaghetti — let’s just celebrate that you managed it.
Ultimately, I feel overwhelmed and inadequate. I’m giving about 60% in every area of my life, which is far from ideal. Wouldn’t you feel worn out too if you were functioning at that level?
I’m trying my best, and even if I fall short, could you please reassure me that I’m doing okay? Your encouragement in my roles as a parent and professional means so much to me. I look to you for moments of rest. I’m not just referring to intimacy (though that would be nice too!). A bubble bath with some candles and quiet time would do wonders for my spirit.
So, dim the lights and play some smooth tunes. Make an effort to romance me! Just understand if I drift off to sleep before the mood fully sets in.
As much as I’d love to keep chatting, I have to return to my to-do list. There’s a runny nose to wipe, emails to respond to, and homework to finish.
Love,
Your working wife