If you are raising a child with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), you’re likely well-acquainted with the scrutiny that often accompanies your parenting journey. Many people may offer unsolicited advice, suggesting that you simply “need to discipline your child,” while others might label your little one as “disobedient” or “out of control.” It can feel as though there is little empathy for those who have ADHD, whether they are children or adults. Society often overlooks the fact that these individuals process the world differently and that success can manifest in various ways.
It’s disheartening to think that children with ADHD might grow up internalizing the notion that they are “bad.” Changing this narrative is crucial. While parents often advocate for their children, it’s essential to recognize that kids have their own voices and insights. That’s why we at Home Insemination Kit sought to create a space where children could express what they wish others understood about ADHD. We asked parents to engage in conversations with their kids to share one key message they wanted the world to hear.
Responses came from kids as young as 6 to college students, and here’s what they had to say:
- “I wish people wouldn’t react so negatively to my energy.”
- “Stop calling it a disorder! I’m just different; my brain operates differently, and that’s not a bad thing.”
- “I genuinely try my best not to misbehave.”
- “I just want people to understand me.”
- “Homework is tough! I’ve already spent all day writing in school; I need my time at home to relax.”
- “Fidgeting helps me focus, please recognize that.”
- “Listening to my music loudly helps drown out my racing thoughts. I express myself quickly because I want to get it all out, and if I feel engaged, I can stay focused. After school, I need downtime; I’m just ‘done.’ During TV time, I need to rock or bounce to keep up with the show, and I require subtitles too.”
- “I can’t stop being repetitive when I’m moving.”
- “I wish people knew I’m not a bad kid.”
- “When I was younger, I wanted people to realize I couldn’t just turn off my brain. It jumps around uncontrollably, just like my heartbeat, and it frustrates me just as much as it does them.”
- “I wish they knew how smart I actually am.”
- “I can’t just make my brain stop; I don’t have control over it.”
- “I’m not lazy—I truly care about my responsibilities. My mind is racing in a thousand directions at once.”
- “It’s hard for me to control myself, and this makes me feel like a failure most days.”
- “I wish my teachers understood that I can’t help fidgeting in class. It’s unfair to be punished for something I can’t control. Sometimes, my energy is beneficial because I can get things done. ADHD isn’t bad; it’s just me.”
- “I want to behave, but my brain sometimes tells me otherwise. I have intense emotions and I don’t intend to get upset when things don’t go as planned.”
- “I try really hard to fit in, especially when I lose control.”
- “My thoughts can pop up, making it hard to focus; it makes my body need to move.”
- “I wish people understood that I don’t always mean what I say. My mind is so busy that sometimes I blurt things out without meaning to.”
- “I’m genuinely trying, but many think I’m just being lazy.”
- “I wish I could remember everything I didn’t even know I forgot, like turning in homework assignments.”
- “It feels like my brain is going to vomit sometimes.”
- “My symptoms can make me anxious. I wish people were more understanding when I’m struggling.”
- “I’m terrible at standardized tests.”
- “I don’t mean to misbehave. Please understand, adjust, and help me.”
- “It’s like being on a tilt-a-whirl; no matter how hard I try to focus, everything around me is a blur because my mind is everywhere. Sometimes I feel overwhelmed and can’t focus on just one thing.”
- “You wonder why I don’t enjoy learning more. You say you’d love to have my brain because I can memorize quickly. But what you don’t see is that it takes hours for me to calm down enough to focus on something I need to learn.”
- “I struggle to remember if I’ve used shampoo or conditioner. I often forget what I was supposed to do, like getting something from my room.”
- “When I’m on my ADHD medication, I know I’m more still and get things done faster. You say it makes me smarter. But when I take it, I don’t feel as happy or want to joke around. If you were in my shoes, would you prefer to be smart or happy?”
- “It’s not that I don’t pay attention; it’s just that my mind is scattered in a million directions. I often forget things because I’m juggling so much in my head. Also, I’m not ‘dumb.’ I excel at solving problems; I just struggle with memorization. Unfortunately, many classes focus on memorization instead of real-life problem-solving, and that’s where I shine.”
This article originally appeared on Home Insemination Kit.
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In summary, children with ADHD often face misunderstandings about their behaviors and capabilities. By listening to their experiences, we can foster empathy and support, helping them thrive in their unique ways.