Today marks the release of Ethan Morris, who has spent three months in jail for sexually assaulting an unconscious woman behind a dumpster. His father, Mark Morris, infamously remarked that his son’s incredibly light sentence “is a steep price to pay for 20 minutes of action.” This statement left me feeling nauseated and deeply unsettled. “Twenty minutes of action.” The phrase echoed in my mind, compelling me to reflect on the profound impact such a trivialization of abuse has on survivors like myself.
Understanding “20 Minutes of Action”
To truly understand what “20 minutes of action” means, consider the following:
I have spent most of my life avoiding baths and pools, opting for showers instead. Why? Because my abuser used to finish his assaults by ejaculating on my hair and then washing it off in the pool or bathtub, using the water to erase the evidence of his vile acts. Those who witnessed this interaction likely misinterpreted it as innocent affection, unaware of the reality that he was hiding his abuse while threatening my life if I resisted.
Does this thought make you uneasy? It should. But I refuse to remain silent about it. The shame belongs to my abuser and those who turned a blind eye.
The Impact on My Life
As a parent, I find it incredibly taxing to join my children in the pool, watching them experience joy while I struggle with the weight of my memories. Each splash feels like a reminder of my past, and I often feel like I’m drowning even when I’m above water. This “20 minutes of action” has stolen countless moments from me: moments of happiness with my kids, moments of peace during my daily battles with an eating disorder, and moments of intimacy with my husband.
Each day, I grapple with feelings of inadequacy as a parent, worrying if my trauma has made me unworthy of love. The consequences of that “20 minutes” have infiltrated every aspect of my life, leading to issues that require medical attention and ongoing care.
A Call for Change
I am exhausted from a society that prioritizes the futures of abusers over the well-being of victims. If you find yourself sympathizing with the perpetrators rather than the victims, it is time to reevaluate your perspective. This is not merely a drinking culture; it’s one where rapists are often coddled, and their actions downplayed.
To the courageous woman who bravely shared her victim statement—your voice matters. Keep speaking out, keep challenging the status quo, and keep fighting for justice.
This article originally appeared on Sep. 3, 2016.