Recently, our sole family car broke down. In typical situations (whatever “typical” means these days), the demise of a well-worn vehicle prompts a slew of questions. Should we repair it or trade it in? Do we opt for another unexciting yet functional minivan, or consider a hybrid? What fits within our budget?
However, during these unprecedented times, this already-stressful decision-making process is compounded by even more uncertainties. Are dealerships open? What about mechanics? Will they practice safety measures? How are we supposed to manage a test drive? Should we take gloves, hand sanitizer, and disinfectant wipes? Will we have to interact with anyone, and if so, will I panic or manage to keep my cool?
The number of decisions feels overwhelming.
Studies indicate that the average American makes around 35,000 decisions each day. My informal but likely accurate estimation suggests that the average mom makes approximately ten times that number. And a mom navigating the complexities of an extended quarantine? That figure could easily reach into the billions.
Before the pandemic, we were already overwhelmed with the mental load of running a household. Should we enroll the kids in camp this summer? One week or two? Full-day or half-day? The less expensive option across town or the pricier one nearby? Are the kids reading enough? Do they have too much screen time? Should I sneak veggies into their pasta? Are we out of snacks?
Now, every single task demands meticulous thought and planning to sidestep COVID-19. We’re grappling with not just quarantine fatigue but also decision fatigue. And when I say “fatigue,” I mean the kind that makes it feel like my head might literally spin off my neck.
It’s just too much.
It isn’t just the major choices regarding safety with daycare reopening or deciding whether to reschedule that overdue dental appointment; it’s the small choices that never required a second thought before. Tasks we once completed on autopilot now need careful planning. A simple grocery run, once a quick errand, now turns into a multi-hour expedition planned every 12 days. Do I have my mask? Yes. Hand sanitizer? Two bottles. Hazmat suit? Maybe I should order one…
These constant decisions are taking a toll. I feel the pressure mounting; I’m cracking under it, that’s for sure.
In essence: we’re overthinking too many things and making far too many choices.
This cognitive overload can lead to anxiety, irritability, stress, and fatigue, as Dr. Laura Bennett, a psychologist at Stanford University, points out. Or, if you’re like me, it can turn you into a short-tempered drama queen.
Melanie Green, a family relationship expert, notes that even minor decisions can become roadblocks. For instance, going for a simple walk now involves a multitude of considerations that previously wouldn’t have occupied a single thought. It can feel so suffocating that sometimes inaction seems like the easier path.
However, we must eventually venture out of our self-imposed cocoons. As states begin to lift restrictions, we long for social interactions and may need to return to work. Each of these scenarios brings additional questions that require more decision-making. Honestly, the mere thought of it makes me want to hide away for the next year or so.
So, what can we do about this overwhelming barrage of decisions? Aside from constructing an underground bunker, of course.
Experts suggest establishing routines and utilizing lists whenever possible. The fewer decisions you have to make, the better. Without realizing it, I’ve been cycling through the same three shirts and yoga pants for weeks. Simplifying what to wear each day is one less decision to fret over.
For larger choices, it’s advisable to set criteria and once a decision is made, let it go. Stop ruminating on whether it was the right choice. Cancel that August vacation instead of wondering if you’ll be able to go. Or tell your supervisor that you’d prefer to work from home a little longer, then stop second-guessing your decision.
You might also consider the “100 percent rule,” coined by former Harvard professor Clayton Christensen, which emphasizes that it’s easier to stick to firm principles than to try to bend them occasionally. When it comes to COVID-19 precautions, establishing strict rules, like no playdates or only visiting family, may help ease decision-making.
Decision fatigue is a very real and challenging experience. But there are strategies to manage it; we just need to discover what works for us. Ironically, finding those strategies will require making even more decisions.
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In summary, the current state of the world has not only left us with quarantine fatigue but also an overwhelming sense of decision fatigue. The constant need to deliberate on both significant and trivial matters can be exhausting. To cope, we can adopt routines, simplify choices, and establish firm guidelines to ease the burden of decision-making.