As I approach my 35th birthday, I can’t help but share my wish list with you all, reveling in the fact that it’s totally acceptable to be uncool in your mid-30s. Here’s what I’ve asked my partner and child for:
- Candles (I even went so far as to send my partner a coupon)
- Two pairs of cozy moccasins
- Slipper booties to keep my feet warm
- A gift card for books (because reading is life)
- A gift card for Lane Bryant for some new “granny” underwear
- Something quirky from pop culture, like a pin or a framed card with inspiring words
I want to emphasize that I genuinely want all of these gifts, but I present them as a sort of multiple-choice quiz for my family to select from. Oh, and my partner and I have a getaway planned to a “cabin in the woods” with a fireplace—how cliché, right?
After saying these things out loud, I could very well be writing this from beyond the grave due to sheer boredom with my own life. Not only do I have that wish list, but I also engage in chin shaving, I’m dealing with foot fungus, and I often think I might not wake up. What a thrill it is to be in your 30s!
But honestly, this phase is surprisingly liberating. Being uncool is now socially acceptable. I’ve always favored comfy underwear; books are forever my passion; and if lounging were an Olympic event, I’d take home the gold. Hoarding candles? It’s the new cat lady trend! I even added that pop culture item to seem more youthful, but let’s face it—I’m more 35 than 82.
A few weeks ago, I went out dancing, and someone called me “ma’am.” Instead of sulking, I hit the dance floor and decided to embrace my age. I even found myself starting a sentence with “back in my day” and chuckling about how we used to dance.
Interestingly, I wasn’t bothered by the younger crowd’s antics, even during Beyoncé’s “Run the World (Girls).” I had a blast. That’s the beauty of being in your mid-30s: no need to impress anyone. I have my trusty sweatpants with a hole in the crotch waiting for me at home, and a partner who loves me just the way I am. Plus, I have a child who brings me items when I’m in full lazy mode. Sure, she might roll her eyes at me, but I consider it a generous act.
In my younger days, I would have been mortified to admit my love for “granny” panties, but now I’d proudly display them on my front lawn if I could. The greatest myth is that wearing such underwear leads to being a lonely spinster; etch that into my tombstone!
My holey sweatpants inspire me; who knows where I’d be if I were as committed to anything else as I am to them? So, bring on 35, and even 40, and let’s see where this journey takes me. This Christmas, I’m wishing for laser hair removal—and I can’t wait.
For more information on home insemination, check out this excellent resource and understanding intrauterine insemination as well as The Center for Family Planning.
In summary, turning 35 and embracing the uncool aspects of life is a liberating experience. It’s a time of comfort, acceptance, and celebration of the little things.