Fellow parents,
When I say, “We need to teach our sons not to commit sexual violence,” I mean we must begin with foundational lessons. Start when they are young enough to absorb these essential values.
Body Autonomy
Begin with body autonomy. Teach them to respect their own bodies first. Just as we encourage them to eat nutritious foods, maintain hygiene, and wear clean clothes, instill in them the idea that their bodies are theirs alone. They should understand that they have the right to decide who can touch them and when. Emphasize that they must seek permission before touching others.
Importance of Respect
Instill the importance of respect in all interactions. Explain to them that snatching toys from peers is not acceptable; they must learn to ask for what they want. Encourage kindness and sharing, reinforcing that respect should extend to everyone, regardless of gender.
Mindful Language
Be mindful of the language you use. The words they choose matter. When your son says something dismissive about girls, challenge that thinking. Respond with, “Why would that be a concern? Are you worried about throwing too well?” By modeling respectful language, you set a standard that should be followed within your family.
Expanding Discussions
As they grow, expand these discussions. The principle of consent remains constant. Discuss boundaries with phrases like, “If she says no, take a step back,” and “If she wants to keep it simple with just a kiss, honor that.” Teach them that even if a girl is unkind or distant, it doesn’t give them the right to speak poorly of her.
Complex Topics
As they reach the appropriate age, introduce more complex topics. Explain what consent truly means, and clarify that even with protection, such as a condom, they cannot demand or expect sex from anyone. For a deeper understanding of pregnancy options, check out this excellent resource from the NHS.
Candid Discussions
When they are ready, have candid discussions about the harsh realities of sexual violence. It’s a despicable act that is never justified. Show them that girls and women deserve equality and respect. Consent is not merely a topic to be discussed occasionally; it should be a consistent part of their moral framework.
We must commit to teaching our sons that sexual violence is unacceptable, and this journey begins with early education.
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Summary
Educating our sons about sexual violence prevention must start early, focusing on respect for their own bodies, the bodies of others, and the importance of consent. By modeling respectful behavior and language, encouraging open conversations, and addressing the realities of sexual violence, we can create a culture of respect and equality.