When seeking marriage tips, I often share this advice: create a budget and begin tackling debt. At first glance, this may seem outrageous—especially since financial disagreements are a common source of conflict for many couples. However, in my experience, establishing a budget and committing to debt repayment was one of the most beneficial decisions we made for our relationship. It not only strengthened our bond but also fostered habits that keep us aligned in goal setting and financial management.
My partner, Jake, and I spent eight years together before tying the knot. During that time, I accumulated significant debt from credit cards and student loans while pursuing my education as a young mother. Jake had some educational debt as well, but mine was substantially higher. He was always eager to pay it off, while I tended to procrastinate. By the time we got married, it was painfully clear that we had vastly different perspectives on debt.
After our wedding in 2012, both of us were employed, and it was time to confront the reality of my student loans. I quickly realized that my minimum payments were barely making a dent, and I would end up paying off this debt long after I was gone if I continued at that rate. Jake took the lead in discussing our debt repayment strategy, which initially met with my strong resistance. My immediate thought was, “How can we afford to?” But deep down, I was really reluctant to change our lifestyle.
Jake created a spreadsheet using the debt avalanche method for managing our payments. This strategy involves organizing all debts by interest rate, from highest to lowest. We would make minimum payments on all debts while directing extra funds toward the one with the highest interest rate. Once that debt was settled, we would roll that payment into the next highest, and so forth. As we eliminated each debt, we found ourselves making significant progress much faster than we ever anticipated when looking at the total amount.
Surprisingly, even though Jake and I never really shared hobbies, this debt repayment journey turned into something we tackled together and genuinely enjoyed. The key to our success lay in the spreadsheet Jake created, which tracked our interest savings and projected our payoff date. We often experimented with different scenarios, calculating how much sooner we could become debt-free by making additional payments. This process became quite addictive, and we even started trimming unnecessary expenses just to see how much more we could contribute.
What began as a chore evolved into a fun challenge. I would sit on the floor beside Jake while he worked on the computer, and we would marvel at how our interest amount shrank as our payments increased. Our dates often revolved around discussions about our financial progress—how we could save more, and what additional steps we could take to maintain our momentum. For a couple who had never engaged in shared interests, we dove headfirst into this financial goal.
I firmly believe that pursuing a shared objective while maintaining open communication can significantly enhance your marriage. Although we began this journey with differing attitudes toward money, we learned to collaborate and engage in difficult conversations. By turning our debt repayment into a sort of game, we made the process enjoyable, which helped us stay committed. While we still have different approaches to finances, we now operate as a unified team when it comes to managing our money. This experience has ultimately enriched our marriage and improved our overall quality of life.
If you’re seeking ways to rejuvenate your relationship, consider budgeting and paying off debt together. You might be surprised at the positive impact it can have.
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Summary
Eliminating $80K in debt not only transformed our finances but also revitalized our marriage. Through budgeting and shared goals, we learned to communicate effectively and work together as a team, ultimately enriching our relationship and enhancing our quality of life.