When I first became a mom, I often faced the question: “How do you like being a mother?” My response was always a bit hesitant. Sure, I adored my child, but let’s be honest—motherhood is no walk in the park. It took me quite some time to find others who were willing to admit that it can be incredibly challenging. Most new moms would exclaim, “I love it!” or “It was love at first sight!” But deep down, many of us knew that the reality was far more complex.
In those early years, when my children were toddlers, parents seemed a bit more open about the struggles. Perhaps it was the overwhelming threenager tantrums or the chaos of no-more-napping preschool days that made it easier to bond over the madness of parenting. We found solace in the shared understanding that we were all just trying to keep our heads above water.
Then came middle school—and suddenly, the conversation ceased.
When your child transitions to middle school, people often inquire, “How is your child adjusting?” with a hint of concern. Most responses are muted, like a whisper of “It’s fine.” I’ve said it. You’ve said it. We’ve all said it.
But let’s be real: IT IS NOT FINE. It’s exhausting, terrifying, emotional, and confusing. Can someone please help me navigate these uncharted waters?
While there are support groups for new moms, breastfeeding moms, and various parenting styles, what we truly need is a support group for moms who are simply trying to survive middle school. Can someone please make this happen?
Every day feels like a battle, with rules that seem to change constantly. Will your middle schooler be cheerful or sullen? Will they want affection or roll their eyes at you? Will they come home in tears or full of chaotic energy from all those hormones?
Middle school was tough when I was a kid, but I never realized it was just as tough for my parents. I didn’t comprehend the sleepless nights my mom endured worrying about me, nor did I recognize the times she might have sneaked into the bathroom for a good cry when I was being particularly difficult. Let’s face it: middle school is a struggle for everyone involved.
Yet, we remain silent. We’re too busy with “it’s fine” responses while we argue about screen time or shuttle our kids between activities. Occasionally, someone might admit—almost sheepishly—that middle school is incredibly challenging, or they might just let out a long, heavy sigh that speaks volumes.
Even the so-called “normal” aspects of middle school are hard. Between puberty, school changes, shifting friendships, and the introduction of crushes, everyone is navigating a rough patch. Some say it gets easier as puberty settles down, while others warn that high school brings a whole new set of challenges. Regardless, can we all agree that it’s tough?
Add in the complications of the 21st century: cell phones and social media. I can barely keep up! When I was young, you might get caught passing notes or with an inappropriate magazine. Now, we’re worrying about cyberbullying and sexting among kids whose brains aren’t fully developed yet.
The stakes are higher, the expectations have changed, and everything feels more intense. The most crucial lesson I want my middle schooler to learn is that it’s okay to acknowledge the difficulties of this stage. It’s hard for many, and finding supportive peers can help ease the burden.
And to my fellow parents, let’s band together as a support system. Instead of defaulting to “it’s fine,” let’s share our truths. Let’s offer genuine support instead of making comparisons or bragging about our kids’ accomplishments.
If you’re one of the fortunate ones who has escaped the middle school turmoil, or if your child is yet to enter this phase, count your blessings. But remember, even if it’s smooth sailing for you, there’s likely a friend or neighbor grappling with their own middle school struggles.
So, let’s be kind to one another. You never know who might be dealing with the chaos of middle school.
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Summary
Navigating middle school as a parent is undeniably tough, yet many of us hesitate to discuss the challenges openly. We need to create a supportive community where we can share our struggles and provide encouragement to one another. It’s crucial to recognize that the middle school years are challenging for both kids and parents, and by being honest about our experiences, we can better support each other through this tumultuous time.