In today’s society, stories abound of children calling law enforcement on their parents for seemingly trivial matters—yet these situations feel very real to the kids involved. Take, for example, a nine-year-old in Ontario who dialed 911 because her parents asked her to clean her room. Or the tween who called twice (after all, an emergency is an emergency) simply because he was served salad for dinner, as reported by the New York Post. One of the most humorous anecdotes comes from a college professor who recounted how his daughter demanded a Smurf piñata for her birthday. When it wasn’t provided, well, you can imagine how that turned out.
Maybe it’s because my kids never reported me to anyone, but I find the image of a defiant child threatening to call the police for not getting their way amusing. Picture the parents rolling their eyes and muttering, “Go ahead,” fully aware they’ve dealt with such dramatic ultimatums before—only to be shocked when a police officer shows up at their door.
While parents in these stories may not see the humor at first (as evidenced by the salad kid’s parents being “not impressed”), these tales can certainly make for entertaining anecdotes at graduation parties or wedding toasts.
However, change one element in this scenario, and the narrative shifts significantly. When the “huffy child” is replaced with an annoyed adult who believes it’s their duty to monitor others’ parenting choices, we enter the realm of what Sarah Mahoney, author of “Fear, Parenting, and Today’s Vigilante Culture,” describes as “parenting vigilantism.” The examples are plentiful.
In a blog post and later an op-ed for the Dallas Tribune, Lisa Bennett shared her experience with an overzealous neighbor. Her six-year-old was playing outside (within her sight), when a neighbor walked him home, claiming it was “unsafe” for him to be alone outside. This was followed by a police visit and a report to Child Protective Services.
Another couple allowed their six- and ten-year-olds to walk home from a nearby park, only to have a stranger report them for being unsupervised. Soon, they found themselves under investigation for neglect.
And the examples continue: an eight-year-old walking her dog alone prompts a police call; another child misses the bus and walks to school, leading to charges against the mother for risking her child’s safety; a nine-year-old playing in a park while her mother works is charged with neglect.
What’s changed since my own childhood, when I walked to kindergarten alone, crossing busy streets with a crossing guard? Back then, it was common for kids to be unsupervised. I even remember being escorted home in a police car during a snowstorm in second grade. When I arrived, my classmates jumped out from behind furniture shouting, “Surprise!” My mom had organized a birthday party, and Officer Friendly had inadvertently spoiled it by bringing me home too soon. If something like that occurred today, would my mother face arrest? Would we be interrogated by Child Protective Services?
In the free-range ’80s, we were often pushed out the door to “go play.” We’d bike across town before our parents even woke up. Why didn’t those adults call the authorities back then? Why didn’t I end up in foster care after going to the store alone for fries? Did adults then care less about us than they do today? Were we less valuable, prompting my parents to have six more kids just in case something happened to me?
It’s absurd to think that society today cares more about children’s safety than in previous decades. The argument of “better safe than sorry” doesn’t fully explain the impulse to report unsupervised children to the authorities. Dr. Barbara W. Sarnecka, a cognitive scientist at UC-Irvine, posits that it’s not just about safety but about enforcing social norms. Many people today feel compelled to voice their opinions on others’ parenting choices, often leading to unwarranted interventions.
If they perceive a parenting decision as wrong, they feel justified in taking action—often going so far as to call the police. I find myself questioning the age at which children should be allowed to navigate their world independently. At what point does a walk home without supervision become unacceptable? It’s difficult to define a specific distance or age that signifies neglect, and these disagreements highlight the personal nature of parenting.
In 2021, many feel it is their responsibility to police how others raise their children, and if they can’t make a citizen’s arrest, they’ll call for backup instead.
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Summary
The article discusses the rise of “parenting vigilantism,” where adults intervene in parenting decisions they deem inappropriate, often involving law enforcement. It compares today’s societal norms with those of previous decades, questioning the motivations behind such interventions and the implications for modern parenting.