For years, my children have been asking for a “Yes Day,” a 24-hour period where we say yes to almost everything they request—within reason, of course. I often delayed making this happen by asking them what their dream day would look like. Predictably, their answer was a free pass to indulge in screens all day.
First of all, let’s be clear: my children are not deprived of electronics. There have been countless days filled with video games and movies, so I can assure them that it’s quite feasible. However, a real “Yes Day” requires more thought and creativity, which is partly why I hesitated. If we are going to dedicate an entire day to saying yes, they need to brainstorm activities and destinations they’d like to explore. I also mentioned that we would need some ground rules, but that idea didn’t go much further than a passing thought.
After watching the Netflix movie “Yes Day,” starring Jennifer Garner, the concept resurfaced, and this time I’m resolved to actually pencil our “Yes Day” into the calendar. The film is inspired by a book of the same name by Amy Krouse Rosenthal. Garner, who used the book to create a yearly tradition for her own kids, sought to bring joy to families through this project. She explained to Scary Mommy, “I pitched it, produced it, found the writer. I wanted to do this and chose to work. I need joy as a person. And I need joy coming at me. I need to put it out there. I felt like this was a chance to do it. And I think we did.” My kids and I certainly found joy in the movie, but we also gained insights and appreciation for one another—something that can easily be overlooked in the hustle of daily life, especially during a pandemic.
The movie cleverly contrasts the carefree life of adults with the chaotic reality of parenting. It’s much easier to say yes to spontaneous fun when you’re solely responsible for yourself or a partner. But once children come into the picture, we quickly realize that their fun ideas often involve risky behavior from an underdeveloped sense of judgment. What’s more, their requests for fun usually come at the most inconvenient times—right before bed, during homework, or when we’re otherwise busy.
It’s not that we parents are against fun; we want to keep our kids safe, and that instinct can make saying no feel automatic. Sorry, kiddos. I know you just asked for ice cream, but my brain processed, Can we set the porch on fire?
As we watched “Yes Day,” I could see through my children’s eyes how often parents say no or not now. I recognized the disappointment on their faces when they anticipated a refusal. That look is all too familiar, and it pains me to see it. I’m busy and stressed, just like Garner’s character in the film, but I want to embrace more playful moments with my kids before they outgrow the desire to have fun with me. Time flies, and suddenly my oldest is 10! My twins are nearing eight, and we’re at a wonderful stage to create lasting memories. “Yes Day” reminded me to seize the time we have while they’re still young.
An unexpected yet refreshing aspect of “Yes Day” is how it highlights the dynamics often present in families. Typically, one parent is the fun-loving one (often the dad, who tends to be the “good guy” in disciplinary situations), while the other parent is more structured and often feels overwhelmed (often the mom, who carries the heavier load of responsibilities). My children picked up on this dynamic as it unfolded in the movie. They initially suggested that I and my partner should adopt the “fun dad” persona. Thankfully, we share the parenting responsibilities and don’t allow one of us to shoulder it all.
The movie provides a glimpse into the complexities of parenting, allowing my kids to understand my thought process better. They saw themselves reflected in the delightful chaos of childhood and began to appreciate the challenges I face. While it didn’t lead to immediate changes in behavior, it did help them grasp why I can’t say “yes” as often as I’d like. I voiced my desire to say “yes” more frequently and committed to incorporating more kid-driven plans into our lives. Parenting is a joy, and sometimes it’s perfectly fine to indulge in ice cream for dinner. We even discussed making plans for an intentional “Yes Day” once the pandemic eases.
We all acknowledged that the constant “no” due to COVID has been challenging, but agreed to wait a few more months for a well-planned, joyous “Yes Day.”
If you’re looking for more insights and stories about parenting, you might find this blog post enlightening: Check out this other blog post. For those exploring the language of parenting and child development, this resource offers valuable information. Additionally, Science Daily provides excellent insights into fertility and related topics.
In summary, watching “Yes Day” was a heartwarming reminder of the importance of saying yes and embracing joy with my kids. The film encouraged deeper conversations about our family dynamics and our approach to fun, while also reinforcing the need for intentional planning in our lives.