When it comes to screen time, I don’t impose restrictions. There are no stickers for good habits or penalties for less desirable ones. I don’t enforce rules like completing a set number of push-ups, engaging in physical activity, or doing creative tasks before accessing digital devices. My son, at 7 years old, has the freedom to use his tablet when he chooses, according to his own schedule.
The primary reason I don’t limit his screen exposure is that it aligns perfectly with my personality and parenting philosophy. I believe it’s vital to base our approach to screen time—and all parenting decisions—on individual needs and preferences. Each person has distinct approaches to life, and trying to fit into rigid parenting models, like those suggested by the American Academy of Pediatrics, feels futile.
As an introvert, I cherish my personal space and prioritize my child’s need for autonomy. My ideal day at home is one where we can both engage in our preferred activities while occasionally checking in with each other. I find little value in micromanaging his free time or reminding him of arbitrary rules. As long as he performs well at school, I believe his leisure time should be his own. I can imagine that if I were a different kind of parent—perhaps an extroverted outdoor enthusiast or a teacherly figure—our dynamic might look different. But that’s simply not who I am.
A second significant reason for my no-limit screen time policy is that it reflects my son’s personality. You might assume he’s one of those kids who doesn’t spend much time on screens, but in reality, he’s quite the opposite. While he does have off-screen interests, gaming is his primary passion. He becomes deeply immersed in his activities, often to the point of obsession, whether it be video games or other pursuits. This intensity extends beyond gaming; he’s the type of child who will forgo recess just to finish an assignment.
Initially, I wrestled with the idea of limiting his screen time to encourage exploration of various activities. Ultimately, I decided against it. Why impose arbitrary restrictions when his engagement with gaming is clearly thoughtful and not mindless, even if it seems “uneducational” to me? Instead of wasting energy on setting limits, I focus on two key screen-related objectives:
- Engaging with his interests: I want to prevent his gaming world from becoming a secluded universe that I’m completely unaware of.
- Reflecting on my own screen habits: I aim to model better screen use for him, knowing that kids often learn through imitation.
I don’t want his tablet to be a coveted object that is only accessible through good behavior or limited time. I prefer for it to be just another tool he can use whenever he wants, not a source of stress.
Since removing time limits, he has become much more relaxed about his screen time. Previously, any denial of his allotted tablet time would lead to a meltdown. Nowadays, even if he cannot use it for a day, it doesn’t cause any distress. I observe him transitioning seamlessly between screen activities and offline creativity. One moment he’s battling virtual monsters, and the next, he’s drawing his own creations or playing with his little sister. The lines between screen time and other forms of play are beginning to blur, which I believe is a healthier approach.
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Summary:
This article discusses the author’s personal approach to screen time for her introverted child, emphasizing the importance of autonomy and individual needs in parenting. By eliminating restrictions, the child has become more relaxed and engaged in a balanced mix of screen and offline activities.