As a mother of twin toddlers, I manage to carve out bits of time between cooking, diaper changes, laundry, and sleepless nights to share my thoughts online. My blog serves as a candid outlet for discussing my challenges—mental health battles, past addictions, and parenting missteps, among others. I’m not seeking sympathy; I simply refuse to hide behind a façade. I am who I am, imperfections and all.
A couple of weeks ago, feeling particularly overwhelmed and exasperated by the conflicting rules of parenting, I decided to express my frustrations through writing. Most readers resonated with my message, but a small number responded with hostility. They either skimmed my post or leaped to conclusions based solely on the title, “Excuse Me While I Lather My Child With Toxic Death Cream.” Suddenly, it felt like a battlefield, armed with scientific charts and accusations of guilt and shame aimed at me. Meanwhile, I was just trying to navigate parenthood in sweatpants, with remnants of toddler snacks smeared on me.
Let’s be real: it’s called satire. Humor helps me cope with the absurdities of life. I’ve overcome significant struggles—recovery from addiction, surviving trauma—and I often lean into dry humor. If that doesn’t resonate with you, you might not connect with my style of writing. This is a personal blog, not a clinical study. My past outlets included substances and self-loathing; I’ve come a long way.
The vitriol I received was shocking. Within the first day, I was told to end my life—over a blog post about sunscreen, mind you. Some even suggested I should have terminated my pregnancies. These were not isolated comments, and the wave of negativity was overwhelming.
I shared a family photo with the intent of humanizing the conversation, hoping that it would make some reconsider their harsh words. It’s easy to throw insults from behind a screen, but I refuse to let that deter me from spreading a message of compassion. Despite the sleepless nights, I chose not to delete any negative comments. People are entitled to their opinions. However, when 2 million readers expressed gratitude for my honesty, I knew I was onto something worthwhile.
I never anticipated that my musings would go viral—over 2 million views and half a million likes on social media within a few days. Major outlets picked it up, and I even pondered the possibility of a book. The outpouring of support from fellow exhausted parents was incredible. Many reached out, expressing relief that they weren’t alone in their struggles. They shared stories of their own challenges and how my words resonated with their experiences.
I was taken aback by the realization of how deeply entrenched the “Mommy Wars” have become. What is wrong with us? My post was never just about sunscreen; it highlighted our propensity for internal judgment and shame. To any mother who felt personally attacked, I apologize. I wish I could amend my tone, but I’m just a flawed human being striving for hope and kindness, as reflected in all my writing.
We need to stop shaming one another, regardless of differing parenting philosophies. Let’s foster a community of support instead of division. My piece was a candid reflection of parental fatigue, born from the chaos of modern parenting and a feeling of being overwhelmed by conflicting advice.
The responses to my article made it clear that there’s a lack of middle ground in discussions around parenting. I felt naïve for trusting studies or foolish for doubting them—why can’t we find common ground? It reaffirmed my decision to listen to my own instincts instead of getting lost in the noise.
For those who feel the need to judge or lash out, I urge you to reconsider. I can’t begin to express how wrong it is to project your pain onto someone else. We’re all just trying to do our best, and we should be supporting each other rather than attacking. When you feel the urge to shoot arrows at someone, remember that you might just be in the same trench.
And for anyone thinking they can bring me down with mean comments, know this: I’ve survived far worse.
This article was originally published on June 10, 2021.
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Summary:
This blog post explores the intense reactions to a humorous take on parenting challenges, highlighting the need for empathy and support among parents. It emphasizes the importance of recognizing our shared struggles and the detrimental effects of judgment and hostility within the parenting community. The author reflects on their personal experiences, advocating for kindness and understanding as essential components of parenthood.