When I exchanged vows with my partner, I had no real grasp of what lay ahead. Clad in my grandmother’s wedding gown and adorned with my great-grandmother-in-law’s necklace, I felt like a princess. I carried beautiful calla lilies and fumbled through a moment where I was supposed to kneel before a statue of the Virgin Mary during a hymn. I didn’t even remember uttering the words “I do.” Our wedding rings were custom-made in Ireland, and my engagement ring sparkled with a six-carat sapphire. I thought the most significant crisis would be when my best friend accidentally spilled Sprite on the flower girl in the limo.
Fast forward to this year: my husband caught tonsillitis on Mother’s Day. He rushed to the urgent care clinic early that Sunday, leaving me to manage our three young children at Sunday mass solo. From the parking lot, I called him in tears, upset because someone mistook me for being pregnant. “The day’s ruined,” I sobbed. “I guess you won’t eat those donuts,” he replied, sounding dejected.
He’d promised me Krispy Kreme donuts, which were a significant part of our Mother’s Day discussion, and despite battling through two antibiotic shots, he made a stop to pick up my order. He reassured me that I looked beautiful and dismissed the rude comment from that stranger. This is what “I do” truly signifies—it’s about lifting each other up, about the small gestures of love that sustain our bond.
Then there are the larger challenges. When I said “I do,” I was already grappling with mental health struggles. We had no idea that I would later face severe anxiety and treatment-resistant depression, possibly even bipolar disorder, alongside undiagnosed ADHD. My husband found himself standing by a woman who changed dramatically from the partner he thought he married—a woman who could cry for hours and entertain thoughts of self-harm, who would eventually seek help in an outpatient mental health facility. He had to take family leave from his teaching job to care for our children during this tumultuous time. Yet through it all, he never wavered in his support. He never wished for a different version of me, even when I suggested that he might be better off without me. He continued to declare his love, even during my darkest moments.
Every couple faces significant hurdles, whether they be financial struggles, family losses, or health crises. During these times, someone must step up and support the other. That’s the essence of “I do.”
Moreover, “I do” encompasses the unexpected. It means standing in the hallway while your husband is in the living room and announcing a pregnancy when you weren’t even trying. His response? A shocked “Oh no!” Yet, despite the initial fear and tears, you navigate this journey together, and before you know it, that baby is a rambunctious three-year-old, demanding to change the TV show for the umpteenth time—a whole new chapter of “I do.”
“I do” signifies countless moments of sacrifice, fear, laughter, and love. It’s about tolerating each other’s imperfections, from my Pinterest fails to his obsession with football. It means accepting him into bed after he’s eaten nothing but a bowl of baked beans—yeah, that’s not exactly romantic. It’s also about letting him wake up early to go fishing while you’ve played “Hamilton” for the kids so often they can sing along to the explicit parts. “I do” means loving each other despite baby weight, skin issues, and those pesky gray hairs.
Looking back, I thought I understood what I was signing up for when I said “I do.” Now, with ten years, three kids, and three dogs under our belt, I’ve realized how little I truly knew. I can’t predict what my vows will demand of me tomorrow or how I’ll be called to love him next week. All I can do is honor my promise, for I chose him out of love. I reaffirm that choice every day. It may not sound overly sentimental, but it is the most heartfelt commitment I could make.
Bear, I choose to love you. I choose you today and tomorrow and every day after that, through thick and thin, in sickness and health, as long as we both shall live.
For those exploring their own journeys into parenthood, you might find helpful information on at-home insemination techniques at this link. Additionally, check out this resource for understanding your baby’s due date. For an excellent guide on pregnancy week by week, consider visiting March of Dimes.
Summary
Marriage vows are about much more than just a ceremony. They represent a commitment to lift each other up through life’s trials, embrace the unexpected, and continue choosing love every single day. Through mental health struggles, parenting challenges, and the day-to-day realities of life, true love reveals itself in the small gestures and unwavering support.