In my role as a mother to a child who faces challenges related to dyslexia, I often find myself sidestepping insensitive remarks from those who lack understanding of our reality. My son displays remarkable intelligence and dedication, yet he grapples with learning disabilities that primarily affect his reading and writing abilities. Consequently, his educational journey is filled with obstacles. Even in subjects he comprehends, such as math, he occasionally brings home disappointing grades due to misunderstandings of written instructions or numerical errors.
Thanks to the provisions of the Individuals With Disabilities in Education Act (IDEA), my son benefits from an Individualized Education Plan (IEP) that provides essential tools and accommodations to navigate his learning difficulties. However, it is the thoughtless remarks that one must be cautious of, often encountered in casual settings like school pick-up lines or birthday celebrations, frequently uttered by fellow parents.
For example, when a parent exclaims, “Can you believe my third-grader reads better than his fifth-grade buddy?” I respond with a neutral, “Oh, really?” while internally reflecting, “You may not realize your fifth-grader is the struggling 11-year-old you’re disparaging.”
Another parent might lament, “My daughter isn’t in the top spelling group; I’m scheduling a meeting with the teacher!” I maintain my composure, wondering if they expect sympathy from me. Meanwhile, my son has recently been promoted to the lowest spelling group—a triumph we celebrate, as it marks significant progress beyond his individualized word list. Our routine involves intense study sessions each week, contrasting starkly with peers who seem to breeze through spelling tests without effort.
Observing his classmates achieve high marks with minimal exertion while he labors for a passing grade of 73% gradually erodes his self-esteem. A parent might boast, “My daughter reads at a ninth-grade level. It’s so hard to find appropriate books that challenge her.” I can’t help but feel a sense of disbelief as I back away, wishing to avoid further emotional harm.
While I may appear overly sensitive, it’s crucial to recognize that approximately 15-20% of the population has a language-based learning disability, as noted by the International Dyslexia Association. Thus, when thoughtless comments are made, they can inflict unseen damage on both the children and their supportive parents. School can be a battleground for many kids; there’s no need to emphasize how smoothly it goes for others.
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In summary, thoughtful communication matters immensely, especially when discussing the academic journeys of children with learning disabilities. Parents should be mindful of their comments, as they can inadvertently cause harm to those who are already navigating challenging circumstances.