Understanding Poop Anxiety: How to Help Your Child Who Is Holding It In

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Everyone has to poop, and there are many resources available for both kids and adults discussing this natural process. However, what do you do when your child refuses to go? Constipation is a genuine concern, and if your little one hasn’t gone in a few days, it’s important to take action. You might try giving them some prune juice, bananas, or oatmeal—foods known to help get things moving. If those don’t work, it may be time to consult your pediatrician to explore other underlying issues.

The Consequences of Withholding Stool

When a child avoids bowel movements for too long, the stool can move back into the colon, where it loses moisture and becomes difficult to pass. As Lauren Vinopal notes in an article on Fatherly, this can lead to constipation and a variety of complications, including discomfort and even more serious problems like hemorrhoids or rectal prolapse.

Ideally, children should have a bowel movement every day or at least every other day. If they go longer than three days without pooping, it’s classified as constipation. According to the University of Utah, a good practice is to encourage your child to sit on the toilet about 30 minutes after eating, as this is when their body is primed to eliminate waste.

Dealing with Poop Anxiety

Some children develop anxiety around pooping, especially after experiencing pain during a previous bowel movement. When this happens, it can lead to a cycle where the fear of pain causes them to hold it in, creating physical discomfort that exacerbates their anxiety. If you’ve tried various remedies—like stool softeners, dietary changes, and increased fiber intake—yet nothing seems to help, your child may be struggling with poop anxiety.

Signs of Anxiety vs. Medical Issues

Determining whether your child’s reluctance to poop stems from anxiety or a medical issue can be tricky. If your child is between two and four years old and can urinate in the toilet but resists pooping, they might be experiencing stool withholding. This is often connected to the pressures of potty training and the fear of transitioning away from diapers.

To ease their discomfort, make the toilet experience as inviting as possible. Using a potty seat can help, as well as ensuring their feet are supported with a stool, which can make it easier for them to relax.

My own children, now six, refuse to poop at school and will hold it until they return home. According to a piece titled “Pooping Anxiety and Stool Withholding in Children,” factors contributing to bathroom anxiety can include anything from discomfort with toilet paper to fear of missing out on activities. It’s crucial to communicate with your child about what might be causing their reluctance, as many of these issues can be easily addressed.

What To Do If Anxiety Is the Issue

In an insightful article for Parents, writer Zara Lee describes how her four-year-old was able to articulate his feelings about pooping to older cousins, which made him feel proud and less anxious. Consider similar approaches with your child. Be patient, understanding, and consistent. Give them plenty of opportunities to sit on the toilet. Making dietary changes to include more fiber-rich foods and ensuring they drink plenty of water can also help. Remember, while their fears may seem small to you, they can be monumental for a child.

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In summary, dealing with poop anxiety in children can be challenging, but by understanding the problem, providing a comfortable environment, and being patient, parents can help their kids overcome this hurdle.