By: Jamie Parker
You’re just being lazy.
Stop procrastinating!
You never seem to follow through.
These hurtful remarks have come from friends, family, and even acquaintances. They only see what’s on the surface, unaware of the struggles I face deep within. Each time someone makes these comments, they’re unintentionally pouring salt on the wound of my depression. It’s time to set the record straight.
To those who label me as lazy, let me clarify: I am not. I’m typically a driven and enthusiastic individual. However, I say “typically” because my depression sometimes takes a firm grip on me. You see me on my good days, but on my bad days, I often withdraw due to the fear of being judged. When I’m not acting like myself, it doesn’t mean I’m lazy; it means I’m battling an invisible foe.
On my tough days, I feel weak, drained, disheartened, and irritable. I don’t choose to stay in bed; depression keeps me there, making me feel worthless. When you mistake this for laziness and call me out on it, it only deepens my feelings of inadequacy.
To those who accuse me of procrastination, you’re correct—I do put things off. It’s not a deliberate choice but rather a symptom of my mental state. When I’m feeling low, I struggle to muster the energy to tackle even the simplest tasks. I’m often consumed by feelings of unworthiness and anxiety, which makes it hard to focus on anything else. I wish you could offer me a bit of compassion during these moments and recognize that my procrastination stems from my depression, not a lack of willpower.
And to those who say I never follow through, that’s not true either. On days when I feel better, I have no trouble completing tasks. But when I’m grappling with depression, finishing anything becomes overwhelming. I often start projects but find myself paralyzed by anxiety or sadness, leading to unfinished work. Your comments about my inability to complete tasks only intensify my feelings of self-doubt. I genuinely wish I could function normally, but depression makes it incredibly difficult to do so.
I am not lazy, nor do I procrastinate out of choice. I do follow through when I’m well. However, when depression takes hold, those capabilities seem to disappear. It’s crucial to understand that your perceptions may not reflect reality; they simply show a lack of awareness about the complexities of my condition.
I hope this message sheds light on my experience with depression. The next time you perceive laziness in my actions, I encourage you to look deeper and offer support rather than criticism. I deserve understanding, not judgment.
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In summary, my struggles with depression are not a reflection of my character but rather a complex mental health issue that requires understanding and support.