Abstract
In recent weeks, a remarkable shift in communication within my household has led to a decrease in yelling and an increase in calm interactions. This transformation has been particularly significant given the challenges of parenting three young children.
Introduction
“Why won’t you take a shower?”
“Because Daddy didn’t ask me nicely.”
This exchange left me momentarily speechless. My almost nine-year-old, seated on the bathroom floor in a state of half-dress, refused to shower based on his interpretation of a polite request. While I was certain my partner had asked kindly numerous times, I recognized that by the fourth or fifth reminder, his tone likely escalated to a yell.
Taking a deep breath, I assessed the situation. My son, cold and dirty, needed a gentle nudge. “I’m asking you nicely now. Please step into the shower.” To my relief, he complied.
Discussion
As he washed away the day’s grime, I reflected on our communication patterns. It often took multiple requests for my children to respond, with the volume increasing on the fourth or fifth attempt. I really thought about the impact of yelling; it not only felt humiliating for the recipient but also left me feeling frustrated. I realized that I had unknowingly fostered a yelling environment, something my pre-parenting self would have never imagined.
By the time my son emerged from the shower, I made a personal commitment—no more yelling. I resolved that even if it took me twenty polite requests, I would maintain a calm demeanor. If a consequence was necessary, I would articulate it calmly and then move forward. I aimed to embody tranquility, especially in a home bustling with three children under nine during their school break.
When my son stepped out, he requested, “Get me my sweats.” “They’re at the foot of the bed; please get dressed,” I responded with a smile, then left the room. Five minutes later, I returned to find him half-dressed and engrossed in a book. “Great to see you getting ready! Please finish up; dinner is ready.” Moments later, he joined me, fully dressed.
This pattern continued for days. I consistently asked nicely, sometimes multiple times, but never raised my voice. We navigated the school break, including two flights and a four-hour road trip, without incident. The real test came on the first morning back to school. I meticulously prepared the night before—clothes laid out, bags ready, and shoes lined up.
That Monday morning unfolded smoothly; I managed to wake the kids, ensure they ate breakfast, and even got their teeth brushed without a single yell.
Conclusion
It has been two weeks since I embraced this new approach. My husband has joined me on this journey. While my children’s listening skills haven’t improved dramatically, our home feels calmer and more pleasant overall. Yes, there have still been squabbles, meal refusals, and bedtime disputes, but now, requests are made as calmly on the fifth try as they were on the first.
This is merely the beginning of our experiment, and its long-term effectiveness remains to be seen, especially as the children approach adolescence. Nonetheless, the initial results are promising, and I am committed to maintaining this serene atmosphere. For tips on establishing a bedtime routine that aids sleep, refer to this comprehensive resource.
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Summary
This article explores a two-week period of reduced yelling in a household with three young children, emphasizing the importance of calm communication. The author reflects on the impact of yelling, shares practical techniques for maintaining composure, and notes the positive shift in family dynamics.