I married young at 21 and quickly dove into the journey of motherhood. Over the next several years, I experienced a long path to having my first child, then another, and finally a third. From 21 to 36, I was entrenched in the “baby phase,” constantly either pregnant, nursing, or trying to conceive.
Fifteen years passed—years I could have spent exploring my own interests or enjoying life a bit more. Instead, I devoted that time to ovulation tests, cycle tracking, and fertility medications, all while focusing on expanding my family. Looking back, I have no regrets; being a mom has always felt like my calling. Each of my three children is a treasure.
But now, they’re not infants anymore. My youngest is two years old and has weaned off breastfeeding. For the first time in over a decade, my body is no longer dedicated to nurturing a baby. With my tubes tied, my baby phase has officially concluded. While there’s nostalgia for that time, there’s also something else—freedom and time.
I’m stepping out of the Baby Phase and embracing my Me Phase. It’s time to focus on the aspects of my life that I put aside when I first became a mother. As my children grow more independent, it’s only fair that I rediscover who I am. They shouldn’t be my sole focus; that might place undue pressure on them. They deserve a mom who knows herself outside of caregiving, allowing them the freedom to explore their own identities.
My first step in prioritizing myself was undergoing a panniculectomy, a procedure to remove excess skin and fat from my lower abdomen. After my last child weaned, I initiated the insurance approval process and had the surgery a few months ago. Although I’m still a plus-size individual, I feel significantly happier in my body. My mobility has improved, shopping for clothes is enjoyable again, and I feel more energetic and confident than I have in years. Carrying excess skin was weighing down my heart as much as it was my body.
This surgery made me realize how much I had sidelined my own needs during the baby phase. While prioritizing my children felt instinctive, I hadn’t fully recognized the extent to which I was neglecting myself. My kids have everything they need, and it’s crucial for me to remember that it’s okay to take the spotlight in my own life now and then.
For me, this Me Phase looks like scheduling regular nail appointments, making time for my friends, investing in my skincare, and even indulging in late-night crafting sessions. I can enjoy guilt-free date nights now that my days of nursing an infant are behind me.
My Me Phase is all about dedicating time to activities that bring me joy and fulfillment, without letting guilt intrude. With three years until I hit 40, I’m committed to making the most of this time. I want to ensure that when I reach that milestone, I can confidently say that I’ve taken good care of everyone I love—including myself.
For more insights on motherhood and self-care, check out this other blog post. If you’re looking for expert advice on topics like home insemination, you might find this resource on intracervical insemination helpful, or visit the NHS for comprehensive information on pregnancy and home insemination.
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Summary:
After years dedicated to motherhood, I’ve transitioned from the “baby phase” to the “Me phase.” Now that my children are older, I’m focusing on self-care, rediscovering my identity, and prioritizing my happiness. This newfound freedom allows me to embrace activities that nourish my spirit and bring joy, all while still being a dedicated mother.