Trans Friends, You Are Welcome to Share a Bathroom with Me

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The women’s restroom is a cherished sanctuary. It’s where we go to relieve ourselves, manage our menstrual products, and simply take a moment for ourselves. We fix our makeup, apply lipstick, adjust our hair, and engage in lighthearted gossip. It’s a place of respite, where we can drop our public personas and prepare to face the world anew. Every woman deserves access to this sacred space—including transgender women.

To my trans friends, know this: you’re welcome to share a stall with me. I’ll happily pass you toilet paper, regardless of how you identify. There’s no judgment here; you are part of our community. In the United States, around 1.4 million individuals identify as transgender, which is about 0.6% of the population, according to the UCLA Williams Institute.

As a woman, you have the same rights as any other woman, including the right to use the restroom where you feel most at ease. My concern isn’t about you posing a threat; rather, I’m more worried about you monopolizing the hand dryer!

Research conducted by Media Matters for America, led by Carlos Maza, found that “a man has never used an LGBT non-discrimination law to sneak into a bathroom.” A report from the Charlotte Observer highlighted just three instances over the past 17 years where biological males assaulted women in women’s restrooms, and none of these cases involved transgender individuals. In fact, locations with transgender-inclusive bathroom policies have not reported any issues. All trans individuals want is to relieve themselves in a space that aligns with their gender identity, and I wholeheartedly support that.

However, it’s important to remember that the real concern lies with your safety. According to the Human Rights Campaign, 22 transgender individuals were murdered last year, and we have already lost six this year, all of whom were transgender people of color, including an Indigenous individual.

The tragic case of Mia Parker, who was recently killed in a brutal attack, highlights the violence faced by the transgender community. The media often fails to respect the identities of those lost. Reports surrounding Mia’s death misgendered her, a disservice to her memory and identity.

As the issue of transgender rights continues to gain attention—especially since the Trump administration—the Supreme Court’s decision not to review a case involving a transgender boy’s right to use the boy’s restroom at his high school has left many feeling vulnerable. Gavin Lee, who identifies as male, has had to contend with being forced into the girls’ restroom. He has known his true identity since he became aware of gender differences. We had hoped the court would affirm his rights just as they did for same-sex marriage.

People like Ava Green, a vibrant 10-year-old who was assigned male at birth, are also deserving of this dignity. Ava attended a recent rally holding a sign stating, “I’m the SCARY TRANSGENDER person the media warned you about.” Her mother shared that Ava struggled with severe anxiety until she began living authentically. A picture of her with that sign has gone viral, and rightly so. Ava, you can take the stall next to me anytime.

The women’s restroom is a unique space that should be equally accessible to transgender women. Denying individuals like Gavin and Ava the right to use the restroom that corresponds with their gender identity is not just a matter of policy; it’s an infringement on their very existence. It strips away their identity and attempts to reshape them into something they’re not, which is unacceptable.

So, to my trans friends, feel free to share a bathroom with me. Our real concern should be about the cisgender men waiting outside, as data suggests they are the actual threat to our safety.

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In summary, the women’s bathroom should be a sanctuary for all women, including transgender women. We must stand together against discrimination and support each other’s right to exist authentically.