To the Woman Who Criticized Me After I Shared My Child Loss Journey

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Throughout my career as a news anchor, I’ve faced my fair share of criticism. I’ve been called fat, ugly, and even told I have a terrible cheerleader voice. Such comments are part of the job; not everyone will appreciate you. In the beginning, it was challenging to accept, but with time, I’ve grown more confident in who I am. Typically, criticism revolves around appearance or performance—until now.

Recently, my family shared our story of child loss with major media outlets, including People and Yahoo! News. This transformed our personal narrative of two angels and one remarkable survivor into a story seen by a much larger audience. Not everyone resonated with our experience.

One particularly harsh comment read, “Oh please. Some people just shouldn’t have kids.” Another suggested, “It’s probably best to listen when a doctor advises a woman to abort some of them.” My friends were outraged by these remarks, shocked at the insensitivity. Surprisingly, I remained unfazed by such comments. I understood that sharing our journey meant inviting varied opinions.

However, a specific comment on my Facebook page deeply affected me. I had posted a picture of my daughter, Emma, at a Children’s Miracle Network event, where she’s celebrated as a miracle child. Someone wrote: “She’s lovely and a miracle. BUT, have you considered that she might resent being constantly associated with her siblings? You always mention them. Recently, you shared a photo, but it’s all about her being premature, her lost siblings, and your role as a spokesperson for grieving moms. Focus on her, not the fact that she is the only surviving triplet.”

In the two and a half years since my children were born, I’ve never felt such pain. After struggling to regain my sense of self, it took only seconds for this comment to derail my happiness. Angry thoughts flooded my mind; I wanted to shout at this woman, to explain how deeply words can wound. Instead, I stepped away from my computer and took a moment to breathe. I’ve chosen to share my life online, which means I must accept that people will voice their opinions—both positive and negative. I eventually responded, clarifying how we celebrate Emma every day, something regular readers of my blog already know. What people see on social media is just a glimpse into our lives.

To the woman who criticized my parenting, I ask you to consider my perspective. I’m not just a new mom; I’m a mother to two children I lost. I navigate the complexities of parenting while balancing the grief of my beautiful, living child. Emma is a remarkable individual, and we celebrate her every day. She will always know how special she is, and we will maintain a balance between honoring her and remembering her siblings. Yes, Emma is present—alive and thriving. However, I will never forget that she was a triplet, nor will I hide the fact that I am the proud mother of two angels.

To the woman who criticized my parenting, I hope you can understand. I’m doing my best, and I take pride in the mother I’ve become.

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Summary:

Jessica Lane reflects on a hurtful criticism she received after sharing her story of child loss and her journey of motherhood. Despite facing harsh comments from the public, she emphasizes the importance of celebrating her surviving daughter while honoring her lost children. She urges readers to empathize with her situation and acknowledges the challenges of parenting amidst grief.