Dear Stranger,
Today, as our cars passed in the bustling outlet mall parking lot, I noticed you through your closed windows. I could see the heat shimmering in the air, and I admired your well-styled hair.
For a brief moment, I hoped you might be understanding. I had parked momentarily in the fire lane, a decision that forced you to navigate around me. While it was inconsiderate, I didn’t intend to cause you any trouble, and I recognize that my choice was wrong.
What you couldn’t see was that I had pulled over to hand a hot sandwich and a cold drink to a hungry person living on the streets. Unfortunately, the nearest parking spot was too far for me to walk, especially in today’s heat. My car’s air conditioning isn’t functioning, which exacerbates my health issues, including difficulty breathing.
As you approached, I quietly apologized, hoping to wave in gratitude for your patience. Beads of sweat trickled down my forehead, and I thought about grabbing my inhaler once I finished my errand. I maneuvered my steering wheel to give you as much space as possible; we were the only two vehicles in that moment, and you could easily pass by.
Just as our bumpers nearly touched, I caught a glimpse of the pre-teen girl sitting in your passenger seat. Our eyes met, and I noticed you gesturing with your hand. I couldn’t hear your words, but my ability to read lips made it clear you weren’t offering kindness.
I wish you had smiled instead or expressed any thoughts about my actions rather than my appearance. The sting of your words left me feeling ashamed, and I regretted stepping outside today. It’s frustrating that food has become a luxury for my family, yet I found myself feeling guilty for simply eating.
It’s important to know that many of us who struggle with our weight endure years of battles with eating disorders that often lead to more pain than progress. While I haven’t purged consistently in years, in that moment, I felt an overwhelming urge to erase the day’s choices. My struggles aren’t your responsibility, but your words echoed painfully in my mind.
In that fleeting second, I felt sorrow for the young girl beside you. By shaming another woman, you taught her a damaging lesson about self-worth based on appearance. She learned today that women often walk a precarious path, constantly feeling inadequate.
So, no, my weight, my self-esteem, and my body image do not rest on your shoulders tonight. We are each responsible for our own emotions and thoughts. However, you missed the opportunity to show that girl compassion and understanding. Instead of extending a hand, you chose to push her closer to a harmful belief.
Tonight, my heart aches for all three of us. Most of all, I mourn for the woman she might help in the future but may not because of the example she witnessed today.
We won’t change the world with such interactions, but tomorrow presents a new opportunity for us both. Will you embrace that chance?
In solidarity,
Maya