In public spaces, I often find myself simply going about my day, when a stranger like you decides to approach me with unsolicited advice: “Smile! You’re too beautiful not to be smiling.”
Your intention may have seemed complimentary, as you labeled me beautiful. However, my instinctive withdrawal instead of a smile was not meant to offend; I was merely navigating through my day. You, a complete stranger, know nothing about me or my experiences. You have no idea that interactions with unfamiliar people can trigger my anxiety, making everyday tasks feel daunting. And honestly, you have no right to that insight. We are not friends or acquaintances; we are merely two individuals sharing the same space temporarily.
Women existing in public do not grant anyone the privilege to dictate their emotions or behavior for personal satisfaction. This is simply unacceptable. You wouldn’t approach another man in this manner, leaving him to navigate his day without interference. Yet, because you perceive me as beautiful, you felt entitled to intervene.
You are not the first man who has told me to smile, nor will you be the last. Your audacity is both frustrating and frightening, but, regrettably, it is a common occurrence.
Here’s something you may not understand about being a woman: our presence often invites unsolicited comments, demands on our time, unwanted attention, and even harassment. This can manifest in various forms, from relentless inquiries for my number after I’ve expressed disinterest to derogatory remarks directed at me for refusing a man’s advances.
Moreover, you are oblivious to the dangers women face daily. The man who urges me to smile in a store could very well be the same one who follows me to my car or becomes aggressive when I reject his advances. The potential for harm is ever-present, leading women to tread lightly and remain vigilant.
When I’m out in public, I constantly check my surroundings, observing the behavior of men nearby. I assess their level of interest and take note of any who seem overly attentive. My mind is always racing, strategizing how to stay safe and avoid the worst possible outcomes. This is the reality of being a woman.
Lastly, let me make this clear: my public demeanor is not yours to command. I owe you nothing—not a smile, not an explanation. It is crucial for you to internalize this. I could be dealing with personal struggles or simply not feel like smiling at that moment. Regardless, it is not your concern. Mind your own business, and allow me the space to do the same.
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In summary, unsolicited advice from strangers can be intrusive and unwanted. Women deserve to navigate public spaces without facing demands or judgment, and their emotional wellbeing should be respected.