How are you holding up, Mama? No, really. You might say you’re doing fine, but I can sense that you’re not. And that’s perfectly okay. Truthfully, I haven’t met a mom who feels “fine” these days. We could probably do away with that word altogether because motherhood is a series of extremes—unbelievable highs and crushing lows. It’s a whirlwind of joy mixed with moments of pure frustration, love that fills you up, and exhaustion that can leave you depleted.
These highs and lows can take a toll on your spirit. Even the joyous moments can be draining. The constant oscillation between these feelings can leave you feeling what my favorite author, Lisa Thompson, aptly describes as “soul-weary.” This weariness is especially pronounced when you’re neglecting your own needs.
I understand that prioritizing yourself can feel like just another task on your never-ending to-do list. And how can you focus on self-care when you have little ones who depend on you? You might feel completely drained, with nothing left in the tank for yourself.
Listen closely, Mama. I’ve walked in your shoes. I’ve experienced the sleepless nights, the helplessness as my child cried, and the overwhelming chaos of toys scattered across the living room. I’ve felt my patience unraveling and questioned my capacity to cope. I’ve even had moments where the thought of escaping felt like the only solution.
Through 15 years of parenting, I’ve realized that these feelings shouldn’t be suppressed; they should be acknowledged. Motherhood is a beautiful journey, but when the joy feels absent and only the challenges remain, it’s crucial to take a step back. You are feeling exhausted because you are exhausted.
You might be thinking, “But I love my children!” and feeling the weight of guilt. Here’s the truth: while love is infinite, our energy is not. Love drives us, but without energy, we can’t move forward. When you’re running on empty, you’re stuck—not able to give your best to your kids. Refueling is essential, and ideally, it should happen before you hit rock bottom.
Now, I know you may not want to hear this, but rejuvenating yourself often means stepping away from your children. It’s a hard truth. You can’t refuel your car while driving it. By trying to be “on” all the time for your kids, you might be doing them a disservice. They need a mother who is vibrant and full of energy, not one who is just going through the motions.
This concept might feel overwhelming, but here’s some good news: it doesn’t take much. Just as filling up your car with gas takes only a few minutes before it can take you miles, you don’t need an entire weekend away. Even an hour or two away from the demands of motherhood can make a significant impact. Go to a coffee shop, a bookstore, or anywhere you feel most like yourself. Bring a book, your phone, or a journal—whatever it takes to recharge. If you need a nap, take one!
If you don’t have someone to watch your kids, consider joining a moms group. Don’t settle for the first one if it doesn’t click—keep searching. These groups are plentiful and can be a game-changer; just one connection with another mother can lead to invaluable support.
Don’t let yourself believe that your current feelings are what motherhood should be. Yes, there are tough days, and yes, it can be exhausting; those are truths we all face. But if you feel like you’re teetering on the edge, that’s a clear signal to step back. It’s hard, but you’ll be surprised by how much a little self-care can shift your entire perspective on motherhood.
The hardest part is letting go of the notion that good moms don’t need breaks. In reality, regular breaks are what keep you from breaking. A good mom ensures that she is taken care of, which benefits both herself and her children. So take that time for yourself, Mama; you’ll be a happier, more fulfilled mother for it.
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Summary
Motherhood is a challenging yet rewarding journey filled with contrasting emotions. It’s vital for mothers to recognize their need for self-care, as love is boundless, but energy is limited. Taking time away, even for short breaks, can significantly enhance one’s ability to parent effectively. Connecting with other mothers can also provide essential support. Prioritizing self-care is not just beneficial for mothers; it is crucial for the well-being of their children.