Every day, she effortlessly places her baby in the crib at 1 p.m., cheerfully saying, “Enjoy your nap, sweetheart,” before stepping out to relish two hours of much-needed personal time. Meanwhile, you find yourself squeezed into a chair in the corner of his room, even afraid to breathe too loudly, knowing that any sound will rouse him from his slumber. He needs you close by, and so your time for yourself consists of dozing off in that chair for a brief ten minutes, waking up with a sore neck.
She feeds her baby a simple lunch of scrambled eggs, cucumber slices, and cheese, and watches her little one devour every bite happily. You, on the other hand, long for the day when your baby might even consider an “easy” meal. Instead, scrambled eggs end up decorating the ceiling. Just last night, you spent hours in the kitchen crafting chickpea, broccoli, and spinach patties—hoping to encourage her to feed herself. Despite knowing she will likely refuse, you keep pushing forward, trying to find nutritious options that might spark her interest.
While she leaves her baby happily playing in the playroom for thirty minutes, allowing herself to tackle chores or prepare meals, you can hardly fathom such a luxury. The idea of your little one playing independently for even half an hour feels like a distant dream. He craves your presence, needing to sense you nearby at all times.
At 7 p.m. sharp, she lays her baby in the crib after a bottle, bidding her a cheerful “Night, night, darling,” before going on to enjoy dinner with her partner, looking polished and relaxed. You, however, find yourself covered in baby spit-up and breast milk, realizing you haven’t had a shower in days while you sit feeding your little one. You wish desperately for him to sleep in his crib, but every time you attempt to leave, he awakens. After an exhausting hour and a half of trying, you finally relent and lay him down in your own bed. You want to join your husband for dinner, but fatigue wraps around you like a heavy blanket. Instead, you fall asleep beside your baby, while your husband takes refuge in the spare room. Sometimes, you can’t help but cry; as much as you cherish the closeness, you miss those quiet moments with your partner.
She occasionally leaves her baby with her mother for a night out, enjoying a leisurely evening with her husband and a sleep-in the following morning. Your parents are helpful, but they can only do so much. The thought of an overnight stay is daunting for them, considering the challenges of caring for your little one. They promise to help once she’s a bit older and “sleeping through” the night.
Let’s be real: not every mother has it as easy as she does, but when you’re raising a high needs baby, it often feels like everyone else has it all figured out. Each conversation with friends only serves to deepen your sense of isolation, as their nap times, mealtimes, and bedtimes seem infinitely easier than your own.
Your baby may require you to stay in the corner of the room or to keep experimenting with meals until you discover something she’ll accept. She may not be able to stay with Grandma yet, and she might share your bed well into her toddler years. But know this: when she grows older and can articulate her feelings, she will express her gratitude for all you’ve done.
She’ll tell you how she developed into a confident, secure person because you met her needs, even when it felt overwhelming. She’ll share how she learned to trust easily because she always knew you would be there when she woke up, never breaking that bond. She’ll show you that she has built healthy relationships, thanks to the unwavering support from her dad, who stood by your side as you prioritized her needs above your own.
She may not say it in those exact words, but I promise you that when the time comes, she will express all of this. And as you move past these exhausting days and regain your clarity, you will be forever thankful that you followed your instincts and listened to her.
Being the parent of a high needs baby is no easy task, but hold on tight and keep trusting yourself. You are doing an amazing job, and remember, you are far from alone in this journey. If you want to learn more about home insemination options, check out our other blog post about the CryoBaby Home Insemination Kit. For additional insights, Emma, Tom, and Baby Lily offer valuable perspectives on this topic. Also, for a comprehensive overview of pregnancy and home insemination, visit this excellent resource.
Summary
Parenting a high needs baby can feel isolating and exhausting, as daily tasks and routines seem more challenging than for others. However, despite the struggles, it’s crucial to remember that you are not alone. Your dedication and nurturing will foster a strong bond, and in time, your child will express gratitude for your unwavering support. Trust your instincts, and know that the effort you put in today will yield a resilient, trusting individual tomorrow.