In a world obsessed with terms like “squad,” I sometimes find myself questioning if I’m the only one feeling a bit lost. The saying “it takes a village” often resonates with me when it comes to raising kids. But what if that village is nowhere to be found?
I embarked on my journey into marriage as a teen and welcomed my first child by 20. While many of my high school pals were busy exploring college life, I was immersed in the joys of breastfeeding and nurturing my newborn. Surprisingly, I didn’t experience loneliness during those early years. Motherhood was a dream fulfilled, and I dedicated every fiber of my being to caring for my child in our cozy one-bedroom apartment, which cost a mere $425 a month. This was over a decade ago, long before social media served as a constant reminder that my life didn’t mirror everyone else’s. I lived blissfully in my own bubble, feeling fulfilled with what I had.
Though my husband is deeply committed to our parenting journey, I can’t even begin to fathom the challenges single parents face. Outside of him, that elusive “village” everyone talks about has always felt distant. While I cherish my extended family, we never had grandparents around for sleepovers, and when our boys were just five and one, we moved across the country to carve out our own path.
I’ve asked for help from a few trusted friends during tough times, but for the most part, it’s been just my husband and me, working together. I didn’t think much of our situation until social media made me feel inadequate compared to others. Suddenly, I was bombarded with images of moms who seemed to have this magical support network—a best friend who swoops in for playdates or friends sending Starbucks gift cards during tough days, not to mention the homemade meals that arrive when kids are unwell.
“It takes a village,” they say. Yet my reality has often been working opposite shifts with my husband to make ends meet, relying on Netflix to get through tough times, and having only the occasional pizza delivery guy as our “support.”
I’m not sharing this to complain; I’m genuinely content with our lifestyle. In fact, I never felt out of place until social media offered me a glimpse into others’ lives. By nature, I’m independent and thrive in that space, but it does make me wonder if I’m alone in this journey without my own “ride or dies.” Each day is a routine of survival, hoping for a couple of weekend naps.
I’m thankful for the friends I’ve made along the way, whether they’ve been lifelong companions or brief acquaintances. Human connection is essential, but I wouldn’t say I’ve built a “village.” I don’t have a circle of friends to lean on for parenting advice, that’s for sure.
While I cherish my alone time and enjoy yoga or the occasional dinner with fellow moms, I can’t quite call them the “people I do life with.” Making friends as an adult is no easy feat. Relocating from Ohio to Colorado was a significant decision, but it meant starting over and forging new relationships.
Even without a village, my children are thriving. They know their parents adore them to the moon and back. Being their mother is an unyielding joy I don’t take lightly. Yes, our family lives far away, and we lack a strong support system, but we make it work. We are the center of our boys’ universe, and we will always find a way to provide for them.
So, to all the squad-less moms navigating this parenting journey on their own: I raise a toast to you. I believe it doesn’t necessarily take a village, but it certainly demands a whole lot of hard work. For more insights on parenting and community, check out this other blog post that dives deeper into related topics. If you’re looking for expert advice, this resource is excellent for pregnancy and home insemination, and for more information on health topics, celebrity health can provide valuable insights.
Summary
This article explores the experience of mothers raising children without a traditional support network. It reflects on the joys and challenges of parenting, highlighting the importance of independence while acknowledging the lack of a “village.” The author celebrates the love and dedication parents have for their children, emphasizing that a fulfilling family life can exist even without extensive external support.