Dear Mom,
Perhaps your little one struggled to latch on. Maybe the experience was painful, and nothing seemed to alleviate it. You may have received conflicting advice from various sources—hospital staff, your pediatrician, or even well-meaning friends. Or perhaps you simply chose not to breastfeed, and that’s perfectly valid. There could also be personal circumstances that made the thought of breastfeeding daunting for you.
It’s possible that you faced challenges with milk production and never discovered the cause. For some, the journey may have taken a different path, such as adopting a child, where the option of breastfeeding was not feasible. You might have experimented with numerous aids or techniques that ultimately left you feeling less connected to your body, prompting you to walk away from it all. Medical issues or medications that conflicted with breastfeeding could have also been factors.
If breastfeeding didn’t go as planned and left you feeling a sense of loss, I want you to know that I understand. The instinct to breastfeed is deeply ingrained, a primal urge that can feel particularly heartbreaking when it’s unfulfilled. Yet, you are not alone in this experience.
On the other hand, if you feel at peace with your decision not to breastfeed and enjoy the flexibility that bottle-feeding provides, that’s completely okay too. Your feelings, whatever they may be—regrets, acceptance, or indifference—are all valid.
Remember, breastfeeding encompasses more than just the milk. While breastmilk is rich in antibodies and nutrients, any amount you provided your baby was a meaningful gift. If breastfeeding wasn’t part of your journey, it doesn’t signify failure. You’ve found other ways to nurture and protect your child. You are a mother, and you would go to great lengths to care for your little one.
Breastfeeding is also about the intimate moments shared—holding your baby close, gazing into each other’s eyes, and fostering a bond that transcends feeding. This connection can be achieved in countless ways, regardless of how you choose to nourish your baby.
It’s time to move past the judgment and shame that often accompany the choice not to breastfeed. What truly matters is love. Let’s prioritize love over fear, connection over division. Reach out for support when needed, and let’s create a space for open conversation. Hold your child close, breathe in their sweet scent, and cherish those moments together.
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In summary, your journey as a mother is unique, and whether you breastfed or not, your love and care for your child are what truly matter.