To all the gentlemen who have ever catcalled a woman or contemplated doing so: let’s have an honest conversation about this behavior. It’s time for a serious reassessment of your approach.
First and foremost, catcalling simply does not work. As a woman who has spoken with countless others, I can confidently say I’ve never encountered a woman who was flattered or aroused by a random shout of “Hey, gorgeous!” as she went about her day. If you think that these interactions have led to positive outcomes, you might want to reconsider. Perhaps you had some fleeting success in high school, or you’ve heard embellished tales from friends about their “conquests.” Let’s be clear: catcalling is not a compliment; it’s offensive and demeaning.
You may believe these remarks are harmless, but a genuine compliment is rooted in respect and admiration. For example, appreciating a server’s hard work with words of praise and a generous tip is a compliment. In contrast, hollering “Smile more” is far from respectful. Regardless of how “nice” you think your words sound, they come across as harassment. The unsolicited nature of catcalling is what makes it intrusive and disrespectful.
What you’re really communicating is: “I want to objectify you without any effort to treat you like a human being.” Your interest isn’t in who we are as individuals; it’s in reducing us to mere objects of desire. You don’t care about our lives, our feelings, or our experiences. We become nothing more than physical forms to satisfy your urges.
We don’t just feel uncomfortable; we feel unsafe. The fear that your words could escalate into something more threatening is always present. It’s easy to dismiss our feelings if you’ve never had to worry about your safety while walking down the street. However, if you understood what it’s like to feel like prey, perhaps you’d think twice before shouting at a woman.
Let’s be clear: our clothing choices do not invite your commentary. Whether we wear heels because they make us feel powerful, or leggings because they’re cozy, our attire doesn’t give you permission to catcall. Even if we were to don a less revealing outfit, the inappropriate comments would still occur.
Why don’t we just ignore it? Because we shouldn’t have to endure such behavior in the first place. When we walk away to avoid confrontation, we risk being insulted further. This isn’t limited to a select few; countless women experience this kind of treatment simply for being in public. Think about the women in your life — your mother, sister, or daughter — and consider how they might be affected by such comments.
Catcalling is a violation of personal boundaries, a misguided attempt to assert dominance over women. It reveals a troubling mindset that seeks to use us for your own gratification rather than recognizing us as full human beings. If you’re looking for validation of your masculinity, there are healthier ways to achieve that — try embracing values like respect and consent.
So, the next time you feel the urge to shout at a woman walking by, pause and reconsider. It won’t lead to the outcome you desire and will only serve to annoy her. Instead, try offering a simple smile or even just keeping to yourself. If you genuinely want to connect with someone, catcalling is not the way to go about it.
In summary, let’s foster a more respectful and understanding society. We all deserve to navigate public spaces without fear of harassment.