Our morning rituals have become quite routine. My partner rises a bit earlier to prepare, then I follow suit. Next, we join forces to get our toddler dressed and ready for the day. Finally, we head out the door, a toddler in tow and two adults who are only halfway prepared for what lies ahead.
Mornings can be overwhelming. They’re not always smooth sailing. There’s often some foot stomping, sighs of frustration, and even a few tears (and yes, sometimes those are mine!). We may even need to change outfits—both for me and the little one. It hasn’t always been this manageable, though.
When I first transitioned back to full-time work, my partner was away on deployment. That was an incredibly challenging time. I’m still in awe of how I navigated those eight months while grappling with the chaos of solo parenting for the first time. Our daughter was so much younger then, and I was utterly exhausted. Honestly, I can barely recall those early days, except for the mornings.
Each morning, I faced the heart-wrenching decision to leave my daughter in the care of others while I went to work. I loved my job—still do—but that didn’t lessen the ache of leaving her behind. The emotional weight of that experience still lingers.
Today, as I dropped off my daughter at daycare, I noticed a new mother entering the building, likely just six weeks postpartum. The moment I saw her, I felt a rush of empathy that took my breath away. I remembered vividly how she must be feeling.
I had just exited my daughter’s classroom after our own morning routine of hugs, high fives, kisses, and “I love yous.” She pushed me out the door, waving at me through the large windows, blowing kisses as she ran towards her friends. I walked away smiling, holding onto those precious memories.
Then I saw the mother. She walked slowly, cradling her baby close to her chest, the little one’s head nestled under her chin. I once carried my daughter like that, feeling the fine strands of her hair tickle my face. Now, my arms felt empty, and my heart grew heavy.
With her cheek resting against her baby’s head, she inhaled that familiar newborn scent. I couldn’t help but breathe in deeply myself, recalling that sweet smell that still lingers on my daughter after a nap or bath. The mother’s eyes closed for a moment, and I knew her thoughts.
“Why am I leaving her here? Will she be held enough? Will she miss my scent and touch like I’ll miss hers? Will they understand her cries? Will she ever forgive me?”
Oh, Mama, I remember all those feelings—the reluctance to leave your baby behind. Even now, I still experience those emotions each single day.
To the mama navigating this tough transition, I genuinely understand what you’re going through.
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In summary, the journey of motherhood is filled with complex emotions, especially during those tough morning drop-offs. It’s a universal struggle that many moms face, and I want you to know you are not alone.