To the woman who has distanced herself from dating and relationships but secretly yearns for companionship, I want to share some insights from my own journey. While I am now happily married, I once faced countless years of being single. At one point, I was completely done with dating; I stopped going out and meeting new people altogether.
During my late 20s and early 30s, I spent many years alone. I wish I could say it was due to high standards, but that wasn’t the case. I didn’t even know what it meant to have standards until I made one poor relationship choice after another.
It’s perfectly fine to enjoy your single life, but if you find yourself wishing for someone special, know that finding love is not an impossible dream. Many people believe that to enter a long-term relationship, they must “settle.” However, does settling mean lowering your expectations for a caring and committed partner? Absolutely not. It might, however, involve accepting some of another person’s quirks or unusual interests.
I am not without my flaws. I can be moody, messy, and a bit of a control freak. My past includes some regrettable choices, such as marrying an abusive partner who struggled with addiction, and subsequently getting involved with a married man who was equally toxic. Online dating yielded no results, and I felt disheartened.
I felt destined to remain alone and began to believe there was something inherently wrong with me. The truth was that I needed to recalibrate my expectations and learn how to be healthy on my own first.
Every person has their own baggage. Someone you might perceive as less appealing or less accomplished can still find love effortlessly. It isn’t solely about you or them; it’s often a combination of both. Everyone grapples with issues that can hinder their chances of connecting with a potential partner. These can include trust issues, communication hurdles, or rigid expectations about an ideal partner.
If you’re genuinely seeking a long-term relationship, you may need to navigate some discomfort along the way. This could involve discussing feelings that you’d rather avoid or compromising on some of the expectations you’ve held close for years. You might even have to embrace someone’s peculiarities.
The ideal moment to start dating will never arrive, nor will the perfect partner. If you remain in your comfort zone, the opportunity for love may pass you by. Step outside, meet new people, or consider reputable dating platforms. Your vision of an ideal partner may not align with a healthy choice. Keep an open mind; my current partner didn’t fit my initial “type,” but taking that chance proved to be the best decision I ever made.
I’m not suggesting you settle for less. Rather, if you’re searching for someone who genuinely cares for you, celebrates your achievements, and loves you unconditionally, you need to learn to accept their imperfections just as you hope yours will be accepted. Sometimes, it’s about taking a leap of faith.
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In summary, it’s never too late to reignite your desire for a relationship. While the journey may require patience and openness, your willingness to embrace both your flaws and the imperfections of a potential partner can lead you to the love you’ve been longing for.