Dear Joint Facebook Account Holders,
This message may not be the most delightful for you. You know that feeling when someone points out a big piece of spinach stuck in your teeth all day? Yeah, it’s kind of like that. But before you get too defensive, remember, I’m the type of person who would let you know if you had toilet paper stuck to your shoe. I’m here to voice the concerns that everyone else is too polite to express, so perhaps consider that before you react too strongly in the comments, okay?
Let’s dive right in.
Who is being unfaithful?
Don’t give me that look, MarkandLisaForever. Unless that’s the name you were given at birth (in which case, my sincerest apologies), there’s no justification for adults to present themselves to the world in this manner. Last I checked, there hasn’t been a merger between social media platforms and cable providers, so Facebook packages are not a thing. And since you’ve gone through great lengths to circumvent the established norms, we can’t help but wonder why.
Maybe it was a mistake. Just to clarify, when Facebook requests the name on your ID, they mean your actual name, not that cute “MarkAndLisa” moniker you got on vacation. Oh, you were aware of that?
So we’re back to trust issues. Honestly, your public display of paranoia is making everyone around you uncomfortable.
“Trust issues?” you might argue. “We don’t have trust issues!”
Sure, AlexAndJamie. If that’s the narrative you choose, we’ll accept it, but there are a plethora of other concerns arising from your shared account that warrant a moment of reflection.
For starters, who are we even communicating with right now? I need you to do a voice verification or some sort of “I’m not a robot” exercise. Am I supposed to just assume it’s you, Jamie?
“Hey, girl! Remember when you had that brief fling with your dentist and thought you might be expecting, but it turned out to be a bad taco? Haha, good times!”
“Hey, this is Alex’s wife.”
“Oh. Whoops. Could you tell Alex to reach out sometime?”
THIS IS SUPER AWKWARD.
So, if no one cheated and this was all a joint decision, I must ask: Is this how you function in real life? Because if so, oof. That’s concerning. When you’re out dining and the waiter asks if you want a side of guacamole, does he make that decision for you? If you miss your annual check-up, does he go in your stead because you’re “the same”?
No? That sounds ridiculous, right?
Because you are two distinct individuals with varying social circles, families, lives, and yes, even medical professionals.
“I don’t have time for social media!” But we share all the same friends and family! But his workplace doesn’t permit personal accounts!
Dear lord. sips tea
First of all, having a Facebook account isn’t a life necessity. So, if your partner is hesitant about maintaining an online presence, they can absolutely live without one. Secondly, if you truly share all the same social circles, that’s some Stepford-level strangeness, but okay. Regardless, your relationships with friends and family still deserve a healthy degree of individuality.
Let’s revisit the job excuse. What kind of employer forbids personal social media? Is that even enforceable? You might want to examine that situation closely, as it seems a bit suspicious. But let’s say he works for a covert agency…couldn’t he just use an alias for his personal account? I doubt your MarkandLisaForever account would escape notice from the Secret Service.
Listen, joint Facebook account holders, it’s time to put an end to this peculiar arrangement.
It’s clear this setup is about monitoring each other’s messages and controlling friend requests, ultimately stifling each other’s social interactions. It’s evident that one of you has wandered outside the lines in some way and was caught. Sorry about that, but this situation is uncomfortable for those of us observing, and if my honesty irks you…so be it.
But please, if you feel compelled to vent in the comments, at least use your real name so I know who I’m addressing.
Because, honestly, SarahJamesMiller, this is just a bit too convoluted.
In Summary
Shared Facebook accounts raise several questions about trust, individuality, and the dynamics of your relationship. It’s essential to evaluate whether this arrangement is serving you well or if it’s time to reassess how you each engage with your social lives. Consider seeking more information on related topics, like fertility supplements at Make A Mom, or explore Kindbody for valuable insights on pregnancy and home insemination. For those interested in environmental awareness, check out Intracervical Insemination for more information.