Back when I thought I had it all figured out as a parent—before welcoming kids into my life—I honestly believed that achieving straight A’s was simply about completing assignments and submitting them on time. Parenting has a unique way of humbling even the most self-assured individuals, doesn’t it?
My son, Jake, has always stood apart from his classmates. From his earliest days, he was more energetic, frequently transitioning from one activity to another, and struggled significantly with winding down at bedtime. His preschool teachers often sent home notes addressing his challenges with naptime and his inability to sit still during story time. He received his first note from kindergarten just two days after starting school.
Academically, Jake’s performance was never stellar. While he grasped concepts quickly and had no trouble with retention, the public school system’s lack of personal attention made it difficult for him to stay focused. Homework sessions at home were a challenge, often resulting in completed tasks that never made it to school. He frequently forgot to turn in both homework and classwork.
As you might have guessed, Jake has ADHD. He received an official diagnosis in third grade and began medication, which improved his focus and reduced classroom disruptions. While his grades improved slightly, they still didn’t reflect his potential. The struggle to concentrate—especially in the evenings when the medication wore off—was compounded by the fact that he had developed a reputation as “the kid who always forgets to turn in his work.” It seemed that inconsistent performance had become part of his identity.
During this challenging time, a fantastic group of kids embraced Jake. In another era, they might have been labeled nerds or geeks. They openly expressed their aspirations for good grades and success at science fairs, sharing a passion for books, graphic novels, coding, and even creating their own stories. Beyond their academic drive, they were kind, inclusive, and humorous, proudly embracing their quirks and rejecting the notion of conforming to societal norms.
Although Jake initially lagged behind his friends in grades, he could engage in meaningful conversations and share his thoughts freely. This group remained steadfastly supportive, never judging him, and always accepting him for who he is.
When they transitioned to middle school, each friend acquired a phone. They began chatting on platforms like Gmail and Hangouts, allowing for communication outside school hours. This constant connection marked a turning point for Jake. I noticed how he would chat with his friends while simultaneously tackling his schoolwork, often getting reminders about assignments he might have overlooked. “I almost forgot—thanks to Mia, I know I have science homework!” he’d exclaim.
I would catch him working on his algebra homework, engaging in live video chats with his friends as they collaborated on tricky equations. They shared answers, debated solutions, and lightened the mood with jokes, transforming homework into a more enjoyable experience.
At the last science fair, every member of Jake’s friend group earned first, second, or third place in their categories. Jake had procrastinated, needing to make last-minute adjustments after misordering supplies. Yet, motivated by his friends’ enthusiasm and hard work, he persevered and submitted a commendable project.
A few weeks ago, Jake achieved his first all-A interim report. He put in the effort, remained committed to turning in his assignments, and studied diligently. However, I firmly believe that his friends’ influence ignited this newfound motivation within him. Listening to their discussions about college aspirations and their unwavering dedication to their goals inspired Jake to strive for excellence.
I always believed in his capabilities, but I sometimes wonder if he would have summoned the determination necessary to excel without this incredible support system. I am profoundly thankful for these remarkable kids and their families. As parents, we often worry about our children associating with the “wrong crowd,” fearing negative influences. In Jake’s case, the opposite occurred. He surrounded himself with the best possible peers, and for that, I am eternally grateful.
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In summary, the influence of supportive friends can play a crucial role in a child’s academic journey. For Jake, it was this amazing group that helped him realize his potential, proving that the right companions can inspire remarkable growth.