Dear Supporters,
We understand. Please never assume we aren’t aware of our struggles. Even in our darkest moments, when our thoughts feel trapped in rigid boxes or when we find ourselves overwhelmed with tears or anger, there’s a quiet voice within us that whispers, “This isn’t right. You need to stop.” Unfortunately, that voice is often drowned out, and we can’t always share it with you.
Yet, we see you, dear ones. We recognize the hard, often lonely work you do on our behalf. You understand our challenges better than we may express. From the depths of our hearts, we are grateful for all that you do, even on days when we seem lost in our own turmoil. You give so much and, in return, ask for so little. Every relationship demands effort, but being with someone who has a mental health condition can be especially difficult.
You share your life with someone grappling with a chronic illness. If that illness were physical—requiring hospital visits, feeding tubes, and the like—you would be celebrated as a hero. You’d receive accolades and admiration from all corners, with whispers of “What a great partner!” But instead, we face mental health issues like anxiety, depression, ADHD, bipolar disorder, and more. These conditions leave no visible marks; we appear just like anyone else. Sure, there might be scars hidden beneath our sleeves or pill bottles tucked away, but those details often go unnoticed. To the outside world, we seem like any normal couple, and the efforts you make often remain invisible.
But we know the truth. We see the late nights you endure, staying by our side when we’re consumed by distress, shaking and crying over anxieties that may not even materialize. You’ve learned that reasoning often fails, and so you do the only thing you can—sit with us, rub our backs, and offer comfort, which might sound patronizing but is actually a lifeline in our darkest hours.
We recognize the pain you endure. We remember the words we unleash during our moments of rage—words directed at you, the one we love most, who we’re convinced won’t leave us. You bear witness to our worst selves and somehow manage to respond with calmness, saying, “Let’s talk about this later.” You’ve become adept at navigating the turbulence of our illness, understanding that we often lash out at the very person who is our anchor.
In these moments, we may say the most hurtful things about ourselves. We might declare that we are awful partners or terrible parents, even whispering thoughts about not wanting to live. You’ve learned to gauge our feelings, asking gently if we have a plan or if it’s just a fleeting thought—each response dictates your next steps. You know how to coax us from the edge of despair back into the warmth of your embrace, where healing can begin.
You have taken mental health days not for yourself but for us, sacrificing your own needs to be our rock. Worst of all, you often keep your own emotions hidden to avoid triggering us. You’re aware that our sensitivity can amplify your feelings, so you hold back, which is unjust. Ideally, relationships should be reciprocal, allowing us to comfort you as you comfort us. Yet, in our moments of struggle, we often lack the capacity to give back, which pains us deeply because we see your unwavering support and wish we could return it.
You’ve guided us to therapists, treatment centers, and supportive resources. You’ve reminded us to take our medications without condescension, understanding how hard it can be to remember. You’ve prepared meals when we couldn’t eat, sat beside us when we were paralyzed by anxiety, and watched mindless TV just to keep us company. Your sacrifices often go unnoticed, and there’s no recognition for the love you pour into our lives.
There’s no glory in this journey. Many people fail to understand why you choose to stay with someone like us. We know the stigma surrounding mental health issues exists, yet you care for us regardless. You hug us, hold us, and protect us from harm. You love us deeply, even when we believe we are unlovable. Society tells us that our struggles make us unworthy of love, yet here you are, proving otherwise.
Ultimately, no words can capture the emotional complexity of our gratitude. All we can say is this: Thank you, dear one. Thank you. I love you, too.
If you’re interested in exploring more about the journey of building a family, check out our post on couples’ fertility journeys. And for further insights, Dr. Jane Smith offers expert advice on understanding your menstrual cycle and its implications for fertility at this resource. For anyone grappling with these challenges, this resource from ACOG is an excellent guide to treating infertility.
In summary, we recognize the immense effort and love you invest in our relationship, often at the cost of your own emotional health. We are profoundly grateful for your unwavering support and love.