When you’re a mom juggling limited childcare, finding time for friendships can feel nearly impossible. The isolation can be overwhelming, and the last thing you want is to feel like a burden. Balancing kids and friendships is already challenging, and for those of us working from home, it adds another layer of complexity. However, there are friends who embrace the idea of our kids joining in on social activities, and those friends are truly priceless.
As a single mom, childcare is a constant concern. With no budget for a babysitter, I often rely on friends and family for support. Yet, everyone has their own responsibilities, making free help hard to come by. My need for adult interaction becomes more urgent as I navigate life as a work-from-home mom. When I get the chance to go out, it usually means bringing my son along.
Fortunately, my close friends never seem to mind. They recognize that my son and I come as a package. Sure, it can be a bit chaotic at times—conversations interrupted by spills or enthusiastic interjections about his favorite YouTube videos. Yet, their affection for both of us makes it all worthwhile.
Thanks to this, my son has developed strong connections with my friends. They make an effort to engage with him, asking about school and his interests. If he brings toys, they listen attentively as he shares his thoughts. And when he’s still getting to know them, they don’t force interaction, which is something we both appreciate.
In a recent social media moment, celebrity athlete Mia Johnson shared clips from a friend’s bachelorette party, where her young daughter was also included. Mia’s choice to bring her daughter along, despite having the means for a nanny, speaks volumes about the strength of their friendship. Integrating children into adult events is no small feat, but it clearly shows that these friendships matter deeply.
Including friends with kids in social plans is a significant gesture. Maintaining friendships after becoming a parent can be a struggle—especially with friends who are still child-free. We know we’re not the same carefree friends who could party till dawn. Now, we find ourselves yawning over dinner and wishing for earlier reservations. Yet, making room for kids reinforces the importance of those friendships.
Admittedly, outings look different when kids are involved. Instead of bars, we might find ourselves at family-friendly restaurants. Our once-party-lovin’ friends now sip on sodas instead of beers. But the essence of the gathering remains intact—the fact that we’re together matters more than the venue.
For some friends, including kids in get-togethers extends beyond just nights out. Cozy evenings on the couch become the norm. There’s something incredibly comforting about a friend who invites you over, saying, “Bring the kid along.” They go out of their way to have snacks ready (even making a grocery run if necessary) and don’t mind watching whatever kids’ show is on. Sure, watching animated films might not be my ideal evening, but asking my child-free friends to join in is a testament to true camaraderie.
Fortunately, my friends rarely complain about engaging in kid-friendly activities. Sometimes that means sitting together at a playground with coffee or sharing fries while my child plays. What matters most is that we are together, regardless of the setting.
Understanding how much it means to include kids in plans helps me find balance. When I can arrange for a babysitter, enjoying a meal with friends, and having uninterrupted conversations, makes me a better friend too. But I don’t think those who include kids in their plans fully grasp the impact it has. Since becoming a mom, holding onto my identity beyond motherhood has become crucial. I need reminders that I am still an individual, not just someone who spends all day catering to a child’s needs. Even if we spend half of our dinner conversations competing with the noise of YouTube, the effort to include my son means everything.
Fear of losing friends to motherhood is very real. Welcoming kids into social settings is often what helps keep those friendships alive. My son might be a handful at times, but when friends suggest we dine at a family-friendly spot because of the kid’s menu, it sends a message: our friendship still holds value, and that matters immensely to me.
In conclusion, the willingness of our child-free friends to include kids in social plans creates a strong foundation for lasting relationships. It bridges the gap between our pre-kid lives and our current realities, ensuring that friendships endure the transitions of life.
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