My dear friend, I find myself at a bustling café, juggling spilled drinks and keeping a watchful eye on my little ones, when your message comes through. The news hits hard: you’ve experienced another loss — your second in a short span of time. In that instant, the noise around me fades away, and a wave of familiar emotions washes over me, ones I first encountered years ago. My heart aches for you, truly.
I won’t offer up clichés like “I’m so sorry” or “everything happens for a reason,” nor will I mention a mutual acquaintance who endured multiple miscarriages but now cuddles her two healthy children each night. I can’t bring myself to ask how far along you were, as that number holds no power to make things any better or worse.
I know you have other children, and while they might provide some solace, I understand that pain is pain, regardless of circumstances. Yet, I can’t promise I won’t slip up and say something that might seem unhelpful, because I’m human too. When I faced my own heartache, I never held it against my friends for their well-meaning words.
What I want to convey, dear friend, is this: I love you, and this situation is profoundly unfair. Your feelings, whatever they may be, are valid, and there is no need to navigate this alone. If you find it overwhelming, seeking help is not a sign of weakness. I’ll be right here, ready to support you.
Whether you choose to lean on those around you or seek extra assistance, know that I will admire your strength even more. The toll of miscarriage is a heavy burden for anyone who longs to nurture a child, whether it’s the first time or the fifth.
You are shattered right now, but I, along with so many others, love you deeply. Allow that love to envelop you, and let’s take steps toward healing together. Even years later, the pain can resurface, and that’s okay. Let’s navigate this road together, my friend, and always remember that you are cherished.
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In summary, my friend, you are not alone in this journey of grief. Your emotions are justified, and whatever support you need, I am here for you. Healing is a process we can face together.