My partner recently celebrated her college graduation. Over the past five years, she juggled her studies while raising three children, including the arrival of our youngest, during a demanding part-time program, all while I managed two jobs.
Throughout those years, I often returned home late to witness her in sweatpants, glued to her laptop, eyes weary from fatigue, with our kids dozing on the couch as a movie flickered in the background. College transformed her into a night owl and an early riser, forcing her to navigate our hectic lives just to squeeze in study time.
She gave birth to our daughter, Lily, just as the spring semester was concluding. I suggested taking a break from her courses, but she was adamant, convinced she could balance her classes around her scheduled C-section. Each day felt like a race against time.
Despite the chaos of pregnancy and motherhood, she kept in touch with her professors, who were supportive. However, when the big day arrived, she found herself behind in her coursework; the demands of life had taken their toll.
In the hospital, as I cradled our newborn, my partner was propped up, laptop balanced precariously below her stitches, posting on discussion boards and tackling term papers. Her expression was a blend of determination and the haze of pain medication. I, too, had been in college while welcoming our other two children, but my circumstances paled in comparison. I remember standing in the hospital, bouncing our son while trying to study, but I had not just undergone major surgery and faced months of recovery.
Her commitment was, without question, hardcore.
A month later, she found herself seeking an incomplete for her spring classes to finish them over the summer. The look on her face as she made that request was heartbreaking; it mirrored her feelings of inadequacy. I helped her draft emails to her professors, where she expressed her hope that they would understand her situation. They did, with one even praising her resilience and commitment to her education.
After the arrival of Lily, I remember the challenge of calming our toddler, Ava, who was a bundle of energy. When my partner returned from class, Ava immediately nestled into her shoulder, as if finding solace in her embrace. My partner cradled her on her hip, gently swaying while simultaneously working on her assignments. The impressive way she multitasked was a sight to behold.
At least once each term, she reached a breaking point, often around midterms, expressing her desire to give up. “I just want to be a mom,” she’d say. I was always struck by the “just a mom” comment, as if that role were simple. The truth is, being a mother encompasses countless responsibilities, and her pursuit of education alongside it was nothing short of inspiring. She frequently worried about the time she was taking from our family, and in those moments, I shifted roles from partner to cheerleader. “You’re doing fantastic,” I’d assure her. “You’ve got this. How can I support you?”
Often, she needed help with small tasks like packing lunches or handling daily chores—things that seemed trivial but were overwhelming for her during stressful times.
Reflecting on her determination while studying just after giving birth to Lily puts everything into perspective.
At graduation, our 8-year-old daughter, Mia, proudly placed the tassel on her mother’s cap. While Mia might not fully grasp the significance of her mother’s achievement, I know that one day I’ll show her that photo and explain the immense effort it took for her mother to earn her diploma.
As I observe my partner’s tenacity, I realize that her journey is shared by countless other mothers. According to the Institute for Women’s Policy Research, there were 3.4 million student mothers in 2014. To all of you, I’m in awe. Your commitment to family and education is profound and inspiring. What my partner accomplished resonates with what many of you are navigating daily. You are champions. You are remarkable.
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In summary, the strength and resilience exhibited by college moms balancing education and family life is truly commendable. You are paving the way for future generations with your hard work and dedication.