For those who have spent some time on TikTok, it’s clear just how precisely the platform’s algorithm can pinpoint our current interests. This goes beyond general hobbies; it taps into our immediate fascinations, including those we might not even be aware of yet.
I’m aware of why TikTok populates my feed with videos featuring queer content—it’s because I identify as queer. But for straight women who find themselves scrolling through lesbian-themed posts, it seems TikTok might be suggesting something they have yet to realize about themselves.
I’m not here to expose anyone’s hidden sexuality or to push anyone into a label they don’t identify with. However, if you’re a straight woman frequently engaging with #wlw (women loving women) content on TikTok, I can’t help but raise an eyebrow in playful curiosity.
The comments on many of these thirst trap videos are often amusing. For instance, one video features a stunning queer woman from Norway who wonders where all the local gay women are. The comment section quickly fills up with responses from self-identified straight women, saying things like: “I need to delete TikTok—I’m either crying, laughing, or suddenly questioning my sexuality!” or “I’ve been wondering if I’m bi. No longer wondering—Norway, here I come.”
Then there’s a video from the #bussitchallenge that sparked a wave of similar comments: “Yep, I’m gay. I’ve had it wrong all along.” Another commenter, humorously conflicted, states, “I have the audacity to be married to a man,” while another admits, “My husband and I aren’t that serious anyway.”
Emma Turetsky, a writer for The Cut, even penned an article about how TikTok led her to discover her own lesbian identity. She asserts that the app knows its users better than they know themselves and presents them with content they might find unexpectedly appealing.
Turetsky describes her experience with a video she refers to as “the Most Subtly Pornographic Video ever,” which, although safe for work, leaves little to the imagination. The comments on similar videos are flooded with users expressing their “bi panic” or their newfound desire to embrace their queer identities.
One man humorously remarks about the allure of queer women, noting their confidence and style, and jokingly warns that he fears his wife might be tempted to explore those attractions. The response from straight women is overwhelmingly supportive, with one stating, “As a straight woman, I can tell you we’re all officially a little bi thanks to lesbian TikTok.”
It’s worth mentioning that this phenomenon isn’t exclusive to cisgender women; many nonbinary and transgender individuals are also finding themselves questioning their identities, a process that highlights the powerful influence of societal norms regarding sexuality.
If TikTok had existed during my formative years, my understanding of my own sexuality might have been vastly different. While I’m content with the path my life has taken, it’s exhilarating to think about how varied my experiences could have been if I had discovered my identity sooner.
That said, it’s essential to be cautious. The admiration straight women express toward queer women can sometimes cross into fetishization. Many queer individuals have encountered situations where their relationships with curious straight women were reduced to mere experimentation, which can be hurtful.
Despite this, I can’t help but feel a sense of validation when I see straight women reevaluating their sexuality. As someone who came out later in life, it’s a comforting reminder that questioning one’s identity is not a solitary experience. TikTok, a platform I initially dismissed as a space for silly trends, has surprisingly provided a sense of community and affirmation for many.
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In summary, TikTok is influencing many straight women to rethink their sexual identities, leading to a wave of self-discovery and questioning. This trend highlights the importance of understanding and acknowledging one’s sexuality in a world that often prescribes rigid norms.