My journey with TikTok began as a quest to understand how a teenage character in my upcoming novel could share information. I downloaded the app just before the world entered lockdown.
Right from the start, I was drawn to TikTok’s appeal, especially its lip-synching features. Growing up in a small town during the ’80s, I fondly remember participating in airband competitions at my elementary school. My twin sister and I once snagged third place for our rendition of “Manic Monday” by The Bangles—a moment that felt monumental.
The short format of TikToks also appealed to me. As a mother of a four-year-old and a seven-year-old, I needed quick distractions during my day. While most TikToks are 15 seconds long, I found a way to fit them into my busy life.
Had it not been for the prolonged days of social distancing, my interest in TikTok might have waned. But it arrived at a moment when I needed a fresh connection. My daily pie chart of activities would show about ninety-eight percent spent caring for my children.
With my kids constantly at home, I found joy in their little faces, despite their frequent outbursts of frustration and sadness. They longed for their usual routines, and so did I. The isolation was tough, and I needed a new outlet. Facebook felt empty, Twitter was disheartening, and my Instagram feed—once filled with vibrant memories of nature and family—had turned into a collection of sourdough photos.
Baking bread and mothering provided me with temporary satisfaction, but I craved genuine joy. My sister, who lives far away, recently texted me, “I miss new.” TikTok became my “new.” At 40 years old, this is my TikTok adventure.
I quickly realized there are three main types of TikToks that grab my attention: transformations, confessionals, and dance challenges. Transformations showcase dramatic before-and-after moments. Confessionals resonate with the lip-synching trend reminiscent of airbands, but dance challenges are where the real fun lies. They kick off when someone shares choreography to a catchy song, and others join in with their takes, creating a lively chain of unique performances.
I decided to dive in with my first dance challenge. After much deliberation, I settled on a username that felt cool yet slightly self-aware. I opted for a jazzy dance to The Weeknd’s #blindinglights over the more provocative #savage by Megan Thee Stallion, which felt a bit ambitious for a newbie.
TikTok allows users to create duets, so I chose to dance alongside a well-known father-son trio with over 100,000 followers. While washing dishes, I practiced the choreography, feeling a bit like Jennifer Beals in Flashdance, even if I was far from it. TikTok is all about carefree fun—like a summer party.
Choosing my outfit was a challenge, too. With my husband working as a head brewer at a microbrewery, I’m the primary caregiver, and the combination of beer and childcare isn’t exactly flattering. I settled on black leggings, a loose top, and red flats—my version of a casual ballerina look.
To get my kids outside for my TikTok debut, I set up my camera in the yard. They giggled at my rehearsal attempts, which made it clear I wasn’t the cool dancer I aspired to be, but their laughter filled me with joy. Full disclosure: I’m not a dancer. My attempts were more “goofy” than graceful, and despite thinking I’d chosen simple choreography, it was a bit beyond my skill level.
Then, magic happened. As I danced, I stumbled upon a move that resembled Irish step dancing—totally unplanned but surprisingly effective. At the end of my routine, I kicked at the camera in sheer delight, and something within me shifted. I had found my “new.”
The final frame captured a smile that felt unfamiliar yet wonderful. Right before posting, I added the hashtag #over40, recognizing the community of fellow TikTokers in my age group. In a time of isolation, TikTok became my source of joy. While traditional gatherings may be on hold, we can still come together through dance.
Now, I’m ready to take on #savage.
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