March 5, 2023
“I really have no idea what I’m doing.”
Ah, those makeup tutorials on YouTube. You know the ones—glamorous influencers effortlessly applying layers of makeup while explaining the purpose of each product as if it were a second language. It looks so simple, but for most of us, it’s anything but. Thankfully, there’s a makeup tutorial made just for us, and it’s guaranteed to make you chuckle.
Enter Chloe Adams, an Australian comedian and radio host, who created a video titled “Realistic Makeup Tutorial.” And let me tell you, it truly embodies the chaos of everyday makeup application.
Unlike traditional tutorials delivered by makeup gurus with encyclopedic knowledge, Chloe sounds like the rest of us—moms who haven’t updated their makeup kits since the Obama administration.
Starting with primer, which she admits is essential, she quips, “What does it even do? No idea, but it was pricey, so here we are.” She acquired her MAC primer after being intimidated by a beautiful saleswoman, saying, “She was so stunning, I felt pressured to buy it.”
Welcome to my world—most of my makeup is purchased online because of similar experiences.
Chloe applies the primer with a brush so old it’s lost its label and probably dates back to 2002. “I’ve never washed it,” she confesses, echoing the feelings of many moms who can barely find time for their own showers, let alone shampoo their brushes.
“Oh wow, this magnifying mirror is revealing way too much,” Chloe remarks while applying the primer, finishing up with a dramatic flourish and calling her work “heaven.”
Next comes foundation. Her scientific method for choosing a shade? “I either use this Maybelline Fit Me or this MAC Studio Fix Fluid, depending on whether I’m tanned.” Spoiler alert: she’s not tanned. “I’ll go with this drugstore option,” she decides.
Soon, she faces a dilemma that most tutorials conveniently skip—how foundation highlights those pesky facial hairs. “Great, now I have a bit of a ‘mo,” she laughs. We’ve all been there!
Now onto brows! She grabs a tiny brush from a brand called Pony and whimsically refers to it as a “pink thing.” Who can keep track of all these brush names anyway? When her brow goes awry, she tries to fix it with the same brush, chuckling, “I’m not sure if this will help, but whatever.” It’s comforting to know that “good enough” is a universal makeup goal.
Chloe tackles contouring next, humorously admitting she’s clueless. “I just want to make it look like I have one chin,” she jokes. If anyone can actually accomplish that, I need a lesson!
Moving on to eyes, she uses a “brown tone” eyeshadow with yet another unwashed brush that still has remnants of her “slutty eye” look from a past event. After assessing her work, she casually states, “You know what? That’ll do.” That’s basically my beauty philosophy in a nutshell.
She continues blending while whispering, “I don’t know what I’m doing,” a sentiment that resonates with so many of us.
After applying mascara she estimates to be six years old (and slightly clumpy), she finishes with a lip pencil topped off with some old chapstick.
And there you have it—her look is complete! “My eyebrows are iffy, and I can barely see out of my right eye thanks to the mascara,” she jokes, but she concludes on a high note, encouraging, “Anyone can wear makeup, just give it a shot!”
As long as we can laugh along while using our outdated brushes and questionable mascara, we’re all in this together.
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Summary:
Chloe Adams provides a humorous take on the world of makeup tutorials, poking fun at the absurdity and chaos of applying makeup without any real knowledge. Her relatable approach highlights the struggles many face in achieving that perfect look, underscoring the notion that anyone can wear makeup and have fun with it—no expertise required.