Can you do self-insemination at home ?
For as long as I can remember, I dreamed of becoming a mother, often carrying my beloved Cabbage Patch doll everywhere, complete with her adoption card. Before I had children, I envisioned a life filled with love, never growing weary of my kids calling me “mommy” or “mama.” I pictured myself eagerly attending school events, joining the PTA, and baking cookies twice a week for my kids as they came home from school.
For many years, I mourned the absence of my own mother and struggled to find maternal figures in my life who felt like a true fit. I longed to become the kind of mother I never had, believing I could do it all on my own. However, I’ve learned that motherhood isn’t about navigating this journey alone; it thrives through the support of a community. This Mother’s Day, I reflect on the incredible women in my life. As I grow older, I embrace my identity as a mother, recognizing that while my own mother’s influence may be lacking, the women around me now form my support network. I truly need them all.
According to a 2013 report from the Pew Research Center, there are 7 million children living in the U.S., with 3 million of them being raised primarily by grandparents. I was fortunate to be raised by my maternal grandparents, who provided me with love and guidance rooted in their southern upbringing. My grandmother taught me how to create a warm home and navigate the kitchen, holding a steadfast belief in the power of love—a lesson I cherish even when life gets tough.
I often recall the wisdom of Oprah Winfrey, who said, “Be thankful for what you have; you’ll end up having more. If you concentrate on what you don’t have, you will never, ever have enough.” My grandmother could never replace my mother, but she stepped into the role of motherly figure just when I needed it most. She continues to impart lessons on perseverance.
While many people may have challenging relationships with their in-laws, my wife and I are fortunate to have positive, healthy connections with them. I especially value my mother-in-law, who has taught me much about balancing work and motherhood. She checks in on me, reminds me to take care of myself, and is even helping me cultivate a beautiful garden.
As women, we have the freedom to shape our own experiences. Jill Churchill once said, “There is no way to a perfect mother-in-law but millions of ways to be a good one.” My mother-in-law lovingly nags me in ways I will one day mirror with my own children and their future partners. It has taken time and effort from both of us to nurture our relationship, but it’s worth it for the family we’ve created together.
Motherhood is far richer than I ever envisioned; it is a blend of challenges and rewards. In fact, I’m even writing a book about this journey. This Mother’s Day, I choose to acknowledge the remarkable women in my life who make up my community. The bonds we create are invaluable, benefiting both ourselves and our children. By learning from and appreciating the women around us—regardless of whether they are our biological mothers—we can show up as our best selves.
This article was originally published on May 7, 2021.
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In summary, this Mother’s Day, I celebrate the incredible women in my life, recognizing that motherhood is a shared journey enriched by community and support. The relationships we cultivate are essential for personal growth and for raising our children.