Goodbye to the Past by Alex Turner
Updated: Feb. 20, 2024
Originally Published: June 6, 2022
First off, I need to share that I grew up as an only child attending an all-girls school for 13 years. So, saying that I feel out of my depth raising two boys in 2022 is quite the understatement. Yet here I am, parenting a 9-year-old and a 6-year-old in a world dominated by YouTube, TikTok, and more. I’m shocked not just by their grasp of some rather crude language, but also by my struggle to handle it.
It wasn’t always this way, of course. My older son started third grade as a (mostly) sweet and innocent child who had spent a good two years learning at home and hanging out with me. Now, as the school year wraps up, his language has taken a turn for the worse; he’s transformed into a typical “bro.” He shares a secret handshake with his younger brother, considers himself a trendsetter, and regularly drops words like “balls.” After hearing “Welcome to the Jungle”—a classic, I admit—he now mimics that Axel Rose grunt every few seconds, which drives me up the wall.
Third grade feels like a sneak peek into everything that’s to come. Yes, he’s maturing quickly, but I’m not okay with many of the phrases he’s using. The wild thing is, he and his friends don’t fully grasp what they’re saying. They giggle over terms like “69,” but when I asked him what it means, he replied, “I think it has to do with sex.” He’d be horrified if he knew the full truth.
This brings me to my next challenge: I need to explain to him what he’s actually saying. I’m convinced that if I tell him what “69” really means, he’d want to scrub his mouth out with soap. We haven’t had the sex talk yet, but I plan to be as straightforward as possible. Hey buddy, if you want “chopped nuts” on your ice cream, you got it (yay, protein!), but I’ll also explain what those nuts are really for. Do I think this is the best approach to parenting? Not really. Would parenting experts label this a massive blunder? Most likely. It’s going to be awkward. I’ll dislike every moment. But I can’t ignore it any longer. My little one is becoming a big kid, and with that growth comes the need to better understand the world. It’s vital, so at least my kindergartener doesn’t become the least popular playmate and so that the next two years aren’t spent in the school principal’s office. Good luck to all of us. Indeed, goodbye to all that.
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Summary:
Navigating the challenges of raising boys in today’s digital age can be overwhelming, especially when it comes to their evolving language and understanding of the world. As a parent, addressing these changes head-on is crucial to ensure that they grow up with a solid understanding of important topics.