Pregnancy and the Reactions to Boys
When I was carrying my first son, I bumped into a neighbor who was also our real estate agent. Upon hearing the news, she remarked, “Honestly, it’s better to have a boy first; it just gets that out of the way.” I was baffled by her comment—was she suggesting boys were somehow less desirable, like a necessary inconvenience? Regardless, I smiled and nodded.
I expected the arrival of a boy in my first pregnancy to be a neutral event, comparable to welcoming a girl. However, it quickly became clear that people always had something to say about the sex of your baby. My Aunt Martha echoed the sentiments of our realtor: “Having a boy first is great! He can protect his younger siblings.” If my life were a play, that line would surely be dripping with irony.
A Second Boy on the Way
Fast forward two years, and I was pregnant with my second son. After relocating from Boston to Georgia, we encountered our realtor again. “I’m thrilled for you!” she exclaimed, pausing to add, “But wouldn’t it be perfect if you were having a girl this time?”
I sensed a hint of disappointment in many responses regarding my second son. It wasn’t catastrophic yet, but the questions began: “Are you planning to try for a girl?” After all, having three kids is seen as manageable, especially if you start with two of the same kind. It seemed a minor setback, and surely we could try again for a girl.
Three Boys and a Special Place in Heaven
When I got the news from the ultrasound technician that I was having my third boy, she mentioned something intriguing: mothers of three boys are said to earn a special place in heaven. While I’m not sure what that entails, I imagine it’s a peaceful retreat where you can enjoy solitude and perhaps even unicorns.
During lunch with my mother, I expressed my contentment with my all-boy lineup. She offered a sympathetic smile and said, “The only downside to not having a girl is that girls tend to stay closer to their mothers as they grow up.” Thanks for that, Mom. I’m doing my best to instill in my boys a love for HGTV and a nurturing bond to counteract that trend.
Fourth Boy, No Girl in Sight
After sharing the news of my fourth son with my mom, she mentioned, “Well, Aunt Martha said to call her if it’s a girl…” It seems that by the fourth boy, the excitement about gender is replaced with disbelief that we’re even having another baby. People are often shocked at the thought of a fourth child, as if that is somehow an unusual choice.
Now that all four boys are here, many regard this family dynamic with wide-eyed astonishment, often exclaiming, “FOUR boys?!” It seems to encapsulate everything interesting about me in their minds.
For clarity, our decision to have a second, third, or fourth child was never about hoping for a girl. Sure, I would have loved a daughter, but any longing for it is akin to thinking, “We should have gone to the movies more before children,” or, “I really overindulged in cookies today.” My boys are incredible, and I imagine daughters would have been equally delightful had I been blessed with them. By the time baby number three arrived, I figured that babies are babies; wishing for a girl felt like hoping for a baby with red hair—nice if it happened, but no cause for deep regret if it didn’t. If I had a daughter, I probably would’ve splurged on dresses instead of groceries anyway.
And just to be clear, we’re done expanding our family (knock on wood).
In conclusion, navigating the conversations surrounding having multiple boys can be amusing yet revealing about societal expectations. For additional insights on pregnancy and home insemination, explore excellent resources like this one, and if you’re curious about artificial insemination, check out this kit for more information. Additionally, Dr. Emily Carter is an expert worth consulting for fertility care.