It’s not often that a single phrase strikes me so deeply it shifts how I connect with my family. However, one simple statement did just that. Surprisingly, it didn’t come from a famous philosopher or a well-known child development expert; rather, it was the voice of children themselves. Through my journey of mindful parenting, I’ve found that kids truly understand what matters most.
This transformative line came from a study where college athletes shared what words from their parents filled them with joy during sports events. The overwhelming feedback was: “I love to watch you play.” This revelation was highlighted in an article titled “What Makes a Nightmare Sports Parent and What Makes a Great One,” by Bruce E. Brown and Rob Miller of Proactive Coaching LLC. I couldn’t shake the power of that sentence and found myself reflecting on my own interactions with my children after their activities.
After events like swim meets or music recitals, I often offered praise, suggestions, and encouragement. But did I ever simply say, “I love to watch you play”? I realized I often spoke too much. As a naturally verbose person, I tend to elaborate more than necessary, which could unintentionally convey that my child’s performance wasn’t quite good enough.
Could I just say those six simple words? I had to try. The very next day, my 8-year-old daughter had a swim meet. As she dove into the water, I was overwhelmed with emotion. Watching her swim, I wiped away tears—not because I expected her to win, but because she was healthy, strong, and thriving. I finally said it: “I love to watch you swim.” Although I added a little more, my daughter responded with a heartfelt sigh, as if to say, “The pressure’s off; she just loves watching me.”
A few days later, my 5-year-old had her ukulele lesson, and she was ready to play without the colored stickers that had guided her. As she sang, I felt the familiar tears welling up. Again, I focused on the simplicity of my feelings and told her, “I love to watch you play your ukulele. I love to hear you sing.” This time, her radiant smile and heartfelt thanks confirmed that less really can be more.
Encouraged by my daughters’ reactions, I began sharing this mantra more often: “I love to watch you read.” “I love to watch you climb.” “I love to watch you care for your baby cousin.” I realized the impact of expressing that love in simple terms during those moments when my heart swelled with pride.
This epiphany led me to consider someone else in my life: my husband. As I watched him support our children, I realized I hadn’t told him how much I admired him. So, I decided to write him a note, keeping it straightforward: “I love watching you coach our daughter in roller skating.” “I love watching you read side by side with our daughters.” It was time he knew how much I appreciated him.
Ultimately, expressing feelings doesn’t have to be complicated. When you genuinely appreciate someone, tell them. Simple phrases can have profound effects.
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Summary:
Expressing love through simple phrases can have a powerful impact on children. The author reflects on how saying “I love to watch you play” transformed interactions with her daughters and even her husband. By focusing on the essence of admiration in fewer words, she discovered that meaningful connections can flourish through genuine expressions of affection.