The woman who gave birth to my twin daughters is many things, but she is not their mother. She is the individual who carried my little girls in her womb, nurturing them when I was unable to. Her generosity, kindness, and compassion are boundless. Through the extraordinary experience of bringing my daughters to life, we have formed a deep bond, and she has become a cherished friend. Yet, despite this connection, she is not their mother.
If you were to ask her, she would affirm the same. This sentiment is echoed by gestational surrogates everywhere. They are not the mothers of the children they carry; rather, they play a crucial role in a process that creates unique relationships. A gestational surrogate has no genetic link to the embryos she carries; those embryos are formed from the genetic material of other people. Sometimes, the intended parents’ own cells are used, while other times, egg or sperm donors are involved. The journey to parenthood can require a whole team of dedicated individuals.
In my case, my husband and I began the process of creating embryos to preserve for our future family. This commitment came after my cancer diagnosis just three months before our wedding, which included the devastating news that treatment would likely render me infertile. The emotional weight hit hard when I learned that I might never be able to bear children.
Thanks to my oncologist’s timely intervention, I was referred to a reproductive endocrinologist. After a whirlwind of medical procedures, we ended up with eight precious embryos, a miracle that provided me with a sense of hope for our future family.
After a year in remission, we attempted to start our family using half of our stored embryos, resulting in a pregnancy that ended in joy but also tragedy. While my son was born healthy, I faced severe complications that led to an emergency hysterectomy. Though I was grateful for my child, I felt deep sorrow over the loss of the chance to bring our remaining embryos to life. Our dream family seemed unattainable.
Enter Emily. She was a stranger to me but had witnessed the struggles of women like myself and decided she wanted to help. Recognizing our financial constraints, she reached out to offer her services as a gestational surrogate, wanting to give our embryos a chance. Her selflessness pulled me from despair.
Becoming a gestational surrogate requires unwavering commitment. The process is rigorous, involving medical evaluations, psychological screenings, legal paperwork, and numerous appointments. If successful, the surrogate must also endure the physical challenges of pregnancy and childbirth. Emily faced it all bravely, nurturing our daughters until they were ready to enter the world. My husband and I were there to witness the moment our children were born.
While Emily gave life to our daughters, she is not their mother. She occupies a unique and irreplaceable role that deserves recognition.
To honor her, we created a special day—Surrogate’s Day—celebrated on September 25th, the day our embryos were placed in her womb. This date marks a pivotal moment in our lives, one that transformed our dreams into reality. Thanks to Emily’s immense generosity, our family is now complete.
Every day, we hold gratitude for this precious gift, and on Surrogate’s Day, we celebrate Emily and all gestational surrogates. This initiative is gaining traction, as others in the surrogacy community join us in honoring these remarkable women. Together, we invite everyone to recognize the invaluable role of gestational surrogates in helping families fulfill their dreams.
In summary, the journey of parenthood can be fraught with challenges, but with the help of selfless individuals like Emily, dreams can become a reality. For those interested in understanding more about fertility and home insemination, resources like Healthline’s guide on IUI and this personal journey offer insightful perspectives. Additionally, you can explore ways to enhance your chances of conception through fertility supplements.