I often find myself engulfed in an overwhelming sense of pressure. I recognize that I am fortunate in many aspects of my life, and I know others face far greater struggles. However, my feelings are valid, and I can’t shake this heavy, burdensome sensation that clings to me. It’s as if an invisible weight is pressing down on my weary shoulders.
As a working mother of four little ones, I juggle the demands of my husband’s challenging full-time career without the support of nearby family for babysitting or school pickups. We haven’t established a reliable local network of friends to help us out. On top of everything, I deal with an anxiety disorder, making the everyday stresses feel magnified.
I aspire to excel in all areas of my life: as a mother, partner, employee, and friend. Unfortunately, my experience is far from unique. Many of us grapple with the immense expectations we set for ourselves, compounded by the mental load that comes with motherhood—an invisible burden that persists even when we have support.
Picture me, head in my hands, eyes shut, and temples rubbing. This isn’t just due to the occasional headache, but rather the foggy haze that comes from sleepless nights and the chaos of managing four children. I often struggle to recall what I need to do next, weighed down by the constant nagging feeling that something important is slipping through the cracks. It seems that just as I check one task off my list, another immediately takes its place.
You might catch me standing at the kitchen sink, munching on cold leftover chicken or nibbling on cucumbers and cheese sticks at a stoplight, because, in my overwhelm, I forget to nourish myself beyond my morning coffee.
I find myself racing around town, fitting grocery shopping, appointments, and volunteering into my lunch breaks. Almost everything seems to happen between Monday and Friday, 9 AM to 5 PM, leaving little room for anything else.
Exercise is one of the few activities (along with medication) that helps my mental health, so I try to hop on my spin bike a few times a week. However, squeezing in that 30 minutes often means delaying dinner or bedtime, leading to a cascade of consequences. It’s a constant cycle of trading one task for another.
There’s always something demanding my attention. While I can manage my children’s needs, the responsibilities extend far beyond that. I feel like a hamster stuck on a wheel, unable to stop.
Please don’t suggest self-care; I’m well aware of its importance. However, even during those precious moments of relaxation—whether it’s a walk, a bath, or a therapy session—my mind stays occupied with the weight of unfinished tasks. I wish I could simply switch off my thoughts. If only anxiety would take a break!
I’m not looking to be a martyr. I appreciate the hard work I put in and cherish my beautiful family. My sense of gratitude is part of what fuels my overwhelm—it’s a desire to constantly give back and achieve in ways that reflect my love.
Weekends often slip away under the weight of chores and errands that demand attention. I’m grateful for my partner’s equal participation, but I yearn for the ability to let go—something that seems to come naturally to others. I’m still working on that.
It’s crucial to recognize that my experiences don’t negate my ability to create joyful memories with my children. I’ve learned that I can be an engaged, loving mom while managing anxiety and the mental load that comes with it.
There’s always something on my plate. It’s not just “bad” things; it’s the never-ending list of tasks—holidays, birthdays, events, deadlines, and the perpetual need for new shoes. I’ve grown selective about what I take on, but the cumulative weight is still heavy.
While some responsibilities bring me joy, the overall burden can feel suffocating at times. I crave moments to nap, read, or enjoy the outdoors with my kids without that mental checklist nagging at me.
Achieving a state of relaxation is easier said than done, but I refuse to abandon my goal of truly learning to breathe. I’m aware of meditation’s benefits and the numerous resources available, and I will continue to strive for it, even if it feels like yet another task to add to my list.
The overwhelming mental load of motherhood shapes who I am, and I wouldn’t trade the experience of raising my children for anything. Still, I sometimes wish things were simpler, more manageable. It’s perfectly okay to feel this way—even the best moms do.
For more insights on this topic, check out our related post on mental health and motherhood. If you’re looking for expert guidance on this journey, resources like ACOG can be invaluable. Additionally, Intracervical Insemination offers authoritative advice for those navigating similar challenges.
In summary, motherhood can be overwhelming, especially when combined with anxiety. Navigating the mental load requires recognizing our feelings while seeking support and understanding that it’s okay to strive for balance amidst the chaos.