In a candid essay for Glamour, co-host of “The View,” Lisa Hayward, reflects on her unconventional journey through life, particularly regarding marriage and motherhood. Having tied the knot at 37 and now expecting her second child at 40, Hayward emphasizes that life often unfolds in unexpected ways, stating, “It’s essential to know what you won’t compromise on.”
Societal norms and biological factors often create an unspoken timeline that many women feel compelled to follow when it comes to marriage and children. Those who deviate from this path frequently encounter intrusive questions and assumptions about their decisions. Hayward, who has navigated these pressures firsthand, asserts that she delayed marriage and motherhood because, “For me, settling was never an option; my goal is to grow and become the best version of myself.”
With over 15 years in television, Hayward has graced platforms such as Good Morning America and currently shares the stage with Whoopi Goldberg and Joy Behar on “The View.” Throughout her dating life, she experienced relationships that weren’t right for her, a realization she appreciates now. “I married at 37, and I’m having my second child at 40. People call it brave, but I just say, ‘I’m not brave; I’m just older!’”
Hayward recalls meeting a mother at 28 who advised her not to wait for children, a moment that frustrated her. She explains, “That kind of advice doesn’t help anyone. It’s not always a choice; it’s simply how life unfolds.”
Understanding that finding the right partner at the right time cannot be orchestrated, Hayward stresses the importance of refraining from pressuring others to conform to societal timelines. “It can be exhausting for someone to constantly hear, ‘Do you plan to marry? Will you have kids?’ We place immense pressure on women regarding their reproductive choices. While I understand the good intentions behind these questions, it can be overwhelming.”
Hayward’s experience resonates with many, including her two sisters, who are in their forties. One sister has never desired children, and the other only found her partner at 40. “It would have been tragic if they felt compelled to rush into marriage or parenthood due to societal pressure.” Both have chosen to honor their individual timelines, a decision Hayward deeply respects.
She acknowledges that life isn’t a fairytale. By sharing her story, which may lack romantic clichés, she underscores that happiness is often about waiting for what truly aligns with one’s desires. Meeting her husband through a dating app, she emphasizes that she never believed in the concept of “The One.” Their relationship is built on mutual growth, therapy, and navigating the complexities of parenthood, including her struggles with postpartum depression.
Hayward’s honesty serves as a reminder that many of us experience societal pressures, often leading to choices we may not genuinely want. As she puts it, “Despite the uncertainties and challenges, I’m embracing my life.”
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In summary, Lisa Hayward’s reflections remind us that every individual’s path is unique, and honoring personal choices over societal expectations is essential for true happiness.