Parenting can often feel like a balancing act, especially when it comes to teaching resilience. While discussions around resilience, or “grit,” typically focus on older children, the importance of this trait spans all ages, even reaching infants and toddlers. You might be skeptical about how babies and toddlers can grasp the concept of persistence. After all, toddlers have a natural tenacity, often following you around at all hours!
However, recent research conducted by Dr. Emma Grant, a doctoral candidate at a prominent university, sheds light on this topic. In her study, she exposed 15-month-old infants to two scenarios: one where an adult struggled to achieve a goal, such as retrieving a toy from a container, and another where an adult completed the task with ease. The findings were compelling—infants who observed the adult facing difficulties were twice as likely to attempt the task themselves before giving up.
As parents, this insight is quite enlightening. It serves as a reminder that our children are always observing us, learning from our behaviors and responses. With three young kids (ages 9, 7, and 2), I often notice them peering around corners, taking in everything from my smartphone activities to my DIY home repairs. But the key takeaway from this research is that it’s perfectly okay for my children to witness my struggles.
For instance, a few months ago, I attempted to repair a leaky sink. After hours of effort, punctuated by my exasperated mutterings and a plethora of online tutorials, I ultimately succeeded. My kids, while not actively participating, were acutely aware of my frustrations. In that moment, I feared they might view me as incompetent. However, perhaps what they truly saw was their dad tackling a challenge head-on and persevering despite the setbacks.
This is precisely the lesson I want my kids to learn: the value of persistence and grit. According to the study, even toddlers are picking up on how we handle difficulties, when we choose to give up, and the drive to continue trying. Much of parenting revolves around setting a strong example, and while it can feel overwhelming at times, it’s reassuring to know that we don’t always need to present a facade of ease.
Dr. Grant’s study provides comfort, suggesting that we don’t have to make every challenge look simple. The next time you find yourself wrestling with a stubborn jar lid or tackling a seemingly trivial task, remember that it’s beneficial for your child to see you engage with the struggle. They might just be absorbing valuable lessons on resilience and determination.
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In conclusion, allowing your children to see you struggle is an essential part of their learning process. It teaches them that perseverance is a valuable skill, and that setbacks are just a part of life.