Let’s begin with my journey as an older mom. I was focused on my career as a journalist and wasn’t ready for the responsibilities of parenthood. Then, at 40, I told my partner, “It’s now or never.” Remarkably, five months later, the moment arrived.
The Upsides
I have a strong sense of self.
Having a child later in life came with its perks. Unlike my 20s and 30s, I was more self-aware in my 40s. I wasn’t navigating my own growth while also raising a child.
I have greater time and patience.
Though I’m not a perfect mom, I have more time now to dedicate to being present and learning. While my patience isn’t boundless, it’s certainly improved compared to the frantic pace of my earlier career.
I can afford to take time off.
Thanks to my partner’s job, I could take a break after our baby arrived. With two decades of work experience under my belt, I felt confident I could return to the workforce when ready.
I can hire help.
We brought on a wonderful nanny, Mia, who loved our daughter fiercely. I learned early on from a friend named Sarah, who also became a mom later in life, that I should focus on the activities I truly enjoy, like bath time and bedtime stories, rather than trying to do everything myself.
I’m more relaxed and open to fun.
As older parents, we aren’t as fixated on strict schedules. We often welcome friends over without worrying about disrupting routines. If a bath gets skipped, it’s no big deal. I’ve become a more playful mom, willing to engage in silly activities with my daughter, like dancing or appearing in her TikTok videos.
The Downsides
I feel my age.
I need to stretch more often and tire out more quickly. Sometimes, I find that the small joys of motherhood come with the longing for a quiet moment on a flight with just a glass of wine and a movie.
I’m older than most other parents.
While I have confidence, I often feel uncomfortable being older than other moms. On my 50th birthday, I even found myself lying about my age at a school event, hoping to avoid the attention of being the oldest parent in the room.
I’m not tech-savvy.
Being one generation removed from my daughter’s tech-savvy world can be challenging. I don’t share her enthusiasm for creating online content, which might be easier if I were younger.
I worry that others notice my age.
There have been moments at the doctor’s office where I felt judged for being an older mom. It became evident when I was surrounded by grandparents while chatting with those who were my age.
Ultimately, I wouldn’t trade my experience as an older mom for anything. I feel fortunate for the journey I’ve taken.
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Summary:
Being an older mother comes with its own blend of advantages and challenges. With greater self-awareness, more time, and resources, older moms can find joy in parenting while also navigating the unique hurdles that come with age. Embracing both the upsides and downsides can lead to a fulfilling parenting experience.